I was in Suboxone treatment on 8mg pill once a day for 9 months. Before checking myself in last January I was using 1-2 grams of herion a day. Now I am using herion again. I was cut off my Suboxone about 2 weeks ago or smoking pot. Yeah, I fucked up..I was withdrawling and i did some Vicodin then percocet then opana now I'm using herion again. I feel like a piece of shit because I didn't want to end up in this position again. I feel like when I started my treatment that I just replaced herion with Suboxone. Now I am in this fucked up position. Has anyone else been through this? I need some advice... I am seeing my counciler on Friday about the situation so I am hoping things will start looking up again. I want to go cold turkey but will I ever want to get high again? ... of course... so I dont know exactly what to do.
Jbomb, I am very sorry to hear of your situation. It is most unfortunate. While you made the decision to pick up again, I feel that the doctor who cut you off of the Suboxone is as much responsible for your behavior as you are. If he thought about it, are you better off staying on 8mgs of Suboxone and smoking pot on occasion, or back using heroin? What did he expect you to do after simply cutting you off? You did what many of us would have done if you were suffering. No one wants to suffer. It is much easier to pick up than to suffer through the withdrawal. I have never experienced withdrawal from Suboxone, but I have read that it is very difficult. That said, where do you go from here now that you are using again? Did you try to find another doctor before you picked up again? If not, it is time to find another doctor right now. I don't know where you live, or what your circumstances are, but if you have access to another doctor, I would seek one out immediately.
If anyone else is reading this post and has some recommendations for Jbomb, please help him out. Again, I don't know what options are available other than a physician. Please whatever you do, don't do anything to make your situation worse. Please try to make good decisions and limit your use to the absolute minimum until you can find some help. If you would like to send me a private message with your phone # or personal email, I would be happy to talk to you if you would like. I will pray for you. TboneCFP
Hey there jbomb. I think tbones right. Even though it was your choice to use again, your doc bears some responsibility in this. She played around with your doses and that messed you up big time. She held your peace of mind hostage. Please talk with your counselor about finding a more liberal doctor. There's ones out there that won't play these games with you. Please be safe, ok? We don't want to see anything bad happen to you. I'm so sorry about this relapse. If you ever need to talk, please don't hesitate. We are here for you, in good times and bad. If you ever need some help drafting any letters, I'd be willing to help in that department too. Thanks for being open and honest about your using again. I really hope you stay safe and let us know how we can help.
Jbomb. I don't have a pc at home but have been wanting to reply. The whole purpose of suboxone is to get rid of cravings, stop withdrawal and to allow your brain to heal so that the natural pain relieving system that once worked can start working again when you get off subs. I know how you feel about your smoke, but people on suboxone are supposedly given Mandatory Counseling, tho many are not. This is to help heal you emotionally so you will not relapse because of emotional issues that haven't been dealt with. You kinda did know this doctor was stringent about the NO Pot smoking rule as she warned you. I tried to get you to change doctors, to see if that would help. I don't care what kind of program you are on, you can find a suboxone/subutex doctor you can afford and I thought I explained pretty well how to do that.
Call all of the doctors licensed in your area to write a subs rx and your first question should be, do you write for subutex as well, then ask for the generic version when you get a new doctor. I had to pay out of pocket and I don't make lots of money I assure you, but, I would get my refill broken down into small amounts that I could afford and it was a hassle, but it can be done. When you call and find a subutex doctor, ask what the fees are and how often you will be required to come in for your refills and if you get down to 1 weeks worth of pills, call for your new appointment so if the doctor is off for a few days, you won't run out. I hope that you will consider the counseling with an addiction therapist, they really can help with the negative feelings .You did NOT replace heroin with suboxone, you were helping heal your brain. I had to think about that for a while when I was on it because that is how my boyfriend also thinks of suboxone, that you switched one addiction for another. If you are doing the suboxone/subutex therapy correctly, it is working to help heal your brain, and you are receiving counseling to remove the emotional baggage that can cause you to relapse.
Hi Jbomb, how are ya man? I haven't read any post or comments. Are you OK? Wherever you are, please don't throw in the towel. Life is too short and too precious. Please let us know how you are doing. There are many of your friends that care about you and are praying for you. Please don't give up, you are not the first to slip, and you won't be the last. And, because you have, does not make you a bad guy. You are human. We are not perfect. When we don't feel well and we have a chance to feel better, we often take that chance, even when it may not be the best choice. You may feel better for a little while, but sooner or later you have to face the music. Please chime in and let us know how you are doing. And again, PLEASE don't give in, you are human, you have slipped. Get up and keep fighting! TboneCFP
Hey guys thanks alot for your input! I'm glad to tell you that I only was on a bout a week binge with percocet, opana, and herion, directly after my doctor cut me off my Suboxone. I only used herion for 4-5 days (twice-three times a day no more than a half gram). I had a life changing expierence the day I used up my last bit of dope. I woke up, again. I am a very talented individual. I play drums in a local hard rock band and I want to be done with opiates for good. I was feeling real shitty after my last shot, I think I missed or something because I felt unnormal. I never could hit myself, I always had someone do it for me, well no one was there to help me I was sick, sweating, aching, couldn't sleep, ect. At first I though I felt it, but then It wore off and my heart started beating unusally fast. At first I thought I might have gotten cotten fever again, but that wasn't it. I was real light-headed so I jumped in the shower and soon after I stared feeling well.
Not long after that out of nowhere a lady from a local church came to my door. It was very random and I strongly believe it was a sign from God. Just the simple fact of what I was going through and her coming and reading some scriptures made me think alot that day about where I was and where I want to go. I know how much I love being high, most everyone does, but I'm not going to let it bring me down again and hold me back from what I love doing, playing music. About a year ago from now was when I checked myself in for treatment and had about 10 months clean on the Suboxone program. Like I said I did ocasionally still smoke pot tryin to pass the urine screens (which only worked when I smoked very little) and thats why I was cut off my Suboxone. I mean don't get me wrong even on Suboxone I sometimes still craved getting high, but for the most part Suboxone saved my life and once again Suboxone is helping me out. I am proud to say that I'm doing well! The past couple days I've been fortunate to find a few street Suboxone for my cravings and I feel so much better! I've been able to sleep for the first time in a week and I had a job interview today as well. I really appriciate all the kind words from every single one of you who reads my posts. It means alot that you people care! I'm considering talking to my original doctor about getting back on Suboxone 8mg a day. Soon I will have insurance to help cover some of the cost for the Suboxone, before I had no insurance and paid 7-10 dollars a 8mg tablet. I will keep all of you informed on how I'm doing and best wishes to all of you!
Check out my band If you get the chance.
I am sorry to hear what you're going through. My story is very similar to yours, multiple relapses. I have heard a lot of people say in meetings that the last time they quit they kicked cold turkey so they could go through all the pain so if they ever had the thought of using again they would remember the suffering and how awful it was. I am currently on suboxone after a 6 month run with heroin, it is helping for now but I am trying to come off slowly. My advice is get to as many meetings as possible they really do help. I surround myself with people on a daily basis that don't use. I was told by numerous people to give narcotics anonymos 90 days. Try to go to 90 meetings in 90 days and if you feel no change your pain and misery will be refunded. The drugs will still be there as well as all the insanity, pain, and suffering that comes along with it. Give it a try, it can't make things any worse right?
- Suboxone Information for Consumers
- Suboxone Information for Healthcare Professionals (includes dosage details)
- Side Effects of Suboxone (detailed)
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