Starting back in 2004 i did a 4 day suboxone detox on about 3 or 4 seperate occasions. Due to my inability to admit my powerlessness over my addiction, it never took long til i screwed up. Long story short, i've been on Suboxone maintenance for about 5 years now. I was up to 32mg/day, and have now been on 16mg/day for the last 2.5 years. I've been a drug addict for the past 15 years, and have recently recommitted myself to the narcotics anonymous program. It is the only thing that has ever worked for me for any lenght of time. So now that i have the resources and support network in my life, i want off of this stuff. My doctor of course suggests coming down by 2mg at a time, and doing this over the coars of a number of months, possibly a year. My thing is that i don't feel like i am truly "clean" going to meetings if i am taking suboxone. I asked my doctor today about a rapid detox, but of course he doesn't suggest it. I don't have the funds to do an RDD (which is some sort of rapid detox in which you are put under anestesia and stuff. Anyway, i am really scared of the withdrawals, and of the mental part of stopping. For me, it is a very mental thing to take my two pills everyday. I've convinced myself that i don't feel good w/o it. I did it cold turkey once and was horribly sick. This was before i knew of the terrible side effects. anyway, i am open to any suggestions... my main goal is to not want to go back to shooting heroin again... i am very apprehensive and stuggling with this. i don't tell a lot of people in meetings b/c they would frown upon this, and the few close people i do tell, suggest that i simply stop... but they don't know much about the drug... anyway, let me know if you have any suggestions, ideas, links to sites, anything at all... thank you... god bless