.I am so tired of being so dependent on Pain meds, I swear if you were to tell me when I first got hurt, that medication would become a big part of life, I really would not believe it. I wish it were as simple as just stopping like the way you snap your fingers. And even though it's obviously not easy, What am I suppose to do, try Suboxone, and wean myself off. Then what what am i going to do on those days I can't deal with the pain, The DR wont write a script, becuase you admitted you had a pill problem my taking Suboxone, so I'd be totally Fucked. You gotta wean yourself off yourself, with the help of Your wife,Girlfriend or family.I am in so much pain I can hardly get up in the morning, I feel like I need to eat a pill first, and wait till it hits me.Life like this sure does suck.I don't even got a girl anymore, my sugar is gone. And I just don't have all that dating bullshit in me, and Its sad to say, but sometimes I don't even care about getting laid anymore, I just feel that miserable. (NOW YOU KNOW YOUR FEELING ABSOLUTELY TREACHEROUS, IF YOU DON"T CARE ABOUT SEX) LOL but it's not even Funny its Miserable.You know when your a kid and something makes you happy, and you feel warm inside and real good, ;like you got something no one knows about all to yourself, that is how I felt about my Baby, but she is gone. and that's how I used to feel about the meds.Now its like everyday is the same as last.I miss my Baby raquel. also my sugar bear Bunny , so sweet, Wow I sound like a depressed c hick .lol if you can't laugh at yourself you got more problems than you think. PAIN SUCKS, Pills SUCK. I have gone cold turkey, if you have been taking them as long as me, you can't help but running out sometimes, but its been years since i have gone a day without taking anything. except on a few occasions were i have had enough Methadone in my system that I really did not dwell on it, so therefore i did not need it. I could have used it, but I had to show myself that I'm the boss of my own body. Will power is a funny thing. As hurt as i am,, and as much as I want the pain to go away, i always find myself thinking about a friggin pill. and it sucks, I feel weak and pathetic sometimes. If you relate just let me know, I have been pretty down lately, and cant seem to get myself up,thanks guys. I Miss My baby, at least I had her thru this mess. well thanks for listening to me bitch and complain, see ya tomorrow people. NewYorkGuy44 is out.
Dear NYG44, you know you have lots of company here, many of us have been right where you are, felt the same way and had some casualties in the relationship department. If you haven't had a recent evaluation of the injuries you suffer from, you should. If you do get a second opinion, there may be some alternatives such a physical therapy, accupuncture, or other medications that could help treat the pain. Depression goes along with pain and also pain pill dependence, so, many times adding an anti depressant can help, so will counseling. I know people don't like to think they need therapy, but it can help and most of the therapists are pretty good at helping with suggestions that may help treat this vicious cycle you are caught in. The opposite of grief is hope, and you need some right now, and some support. You actually sound like you are experiencing something called Anhedonia, which means not being able to find pleasure in anything. Therapy and anti depressants may help that. For me personally, a low dose of anti d helps along with the therapy, that way you get some relief but may not have any of the negative side effects from the anti depressants. I think the anti d's work quicker for depressant relief, but therapy helps better long term. I saw you mentioned both methadone and suboxone, if you are seriously considering suboxone, you have to actually be only at 30 mgs per day before you can make the switch. You would also have be in withdrawal closer to 3 days than the 1 day that a person on short acting opiates would have to wait. It does work, but you have more than one issue here, so, bear with me if I digress a bit. Once a person has to take opiate pain medicinelong enough to create a dependence, the neurotransmitters ( signal senders) in the brain take a vacation and no longer send a signal to the receptor sites which would trigger the brain's natural opiates. It can be reversed and those neurotransmitters can come back online and function, but it is a process. I was treated with suboxone and did the required counseling, once I got off of the suboxone, I was suprised to find I was not in the dire amount of pain i thought I was in while I was on lortabs. I can now take tylenol and relieve most aches and pains. That is because the suboxone worked to heal the brain and I did the counseling that helped me correct my thinking that I needed a pill for everything. If you do want to try suboxone, and I am not sure that is the answer as you listed you have injuries, but, do yourself the biggest favor and do the addiction therapy with it. If you do that, you won't have as high a chance of relapse and you will be stronger emotionally so those old triggers won't be as strong. The brain and body love opiates and will crave them and want more and more until you get into a state like you are in. The therapy my counselor used in group was called Adlerean ( for Alfred Adler) and it involved healing the broken relationships the dependence caused. Group therapy can be very beneficial because you are in there with a "jury of your peers," and you won't feel as inferior, you will have something in common with everyone in the room. I wish I had a magic wand to help you right now, but I don't really have that power. I can offer you my best wishes, and also my Prayers and hope that something i put in here will help you with your quest to get relief and comfort. Best of Luck, Pattishan
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