my mom for more than 30 years has the same issue. each time we have to go to a social function or activity with others she has an excuse not to go or feels sick. she backs out last minute. is this a phobia
Hello Cris1234. Social anxiety disorder is exactly what the name describes. For me sometimes the anxiety I feel leading up to the event is worse then the actually event. If I can force myself to calm down & just go after the initial anxiety hell occasionally I even forget myself & have a good time surprise surprise lol. That doesn't happen often though because most of the time I dont even make it out the door to begin with. You asked if it was a phobia & yes it feels like 1 but its an anxiety disorder. Your mom cant help how she feels & unfortunately every time she's given in & not gone its just reinforced the anxiety in her mind making the next time a little bit worse. The problem is by time you realize this is a problem its too far progressed to simple say oh ok I wont do that any more. Is your mom seeing a Dr & on medicine to help her with this? Be patient & try to understand. If its hard on your family imagine what it feels like to her-never leaving the house, feeling anxiety over every little thing & feeling so guilty for disappointing your family & kids repeatedly, alone isolated from the world. Its tough for every1. Stay positive & help her be positive. She's not alone
I do have good news for you. In the past few years a tremendous amount of research has been done on this anxiety problem as well as other anxiety disorders. On doesn't have to give up hope or stay home bound. Many, many people have had their anxiety reduced to very manageable levels. By the way, just about everyone gets anxiety. For some it simply becomes too intense and the fear of becoming anxious and panicking replaces the original fear of , say, public speaking. It is treatable and I will say that coming from a long line of anxious people, it can be managed. As for getting your mom to change, the only way she , you or anyone will change is wanting to do so. Sadly, people would rather say they can't and never explore getting help. It is a choice we each make. But it is never too late. Take care of yours with a specialist therapist and maybe she will see your progress. One can waste their life with the made up fears that create such fear. No one dies from a panic attack. No one succeeds if they stay at home.
I suggest you read this book and take it seriously. I talked with Dr Sawchuk and the enthusiasm of people making these changes is amazing. Good luck to you and all you love.
Tolin (2012), Face Your Fears: a proven plan to beat anxiety, panic, phobias, and obsessions. Wiley.
Available as an eBook for Kindle and other electronic books as well.
Suggested by Dr. Craig Sawchuk at Mayo Clinic, anxiety research division.
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