yeah, lately, I randomly had a childhood flashback that I had totally forgotten and or repressed. The memory has brought on a chain reaction of other memories as well, and has put me into a depression unlike anything I've experienced for over fifteen years. I'm currently (as some may know), on many many meds, as I have anxiety (3mg Klonopin + 100 mg of Pristiq), depression (Pristiq), and fibro (20mg of Methadone, 225mg of Lyrica, and 300 mg of Tramadol). Due to all of the above, in order to stay awake at work, I have to also take 250 mg of Nuvigil. Obviously, libido is also an issue, so Cialis helps a bit (I forgot the quantity). This redgimind has taken a long long long time with many many different tests and medication trials and even done in different ways. Several doctors also involved and 20 to 30 tests, (everything done from the same medical group - so the doctors are all aware of everything). I'm on such a delicate balance of meds, that I really don't want to mess with anything, and try to work this out with my psychologist, but, at times, the depression just gets so so so bad that I'm lucky to have kids or I'd be in trouble. I love my kids beyond belief, and are the only thing that really makes me happy at this point... I'm not sure what to do... I would never in a million years ever take myself away from them, but I feel awful. Any advise?
Bless your heart. Do you have an "Umbrella Doc"? I have many chronic conditions. Have Pain Doc, Regular IM, OB/GYN, Endocrinologist and Psychiatrist. My Psychiatrist who I see only for Med Management for Pain - knows about DRUG INTERACTIONS - watches over EVERYONE ELSE. All Docs have same info-drugs I take, Diagnoses but a Psychiatrist can help with this most sensitive subject. Especially since it's just "blooming". You can keep your Psychologist. Unfortunately they are limited in prescribing meds and do not have the training that a Psychiatrist does. A Psychiatrist is an MD and has gone through additional medical training. Some are Professors as well. If you have a good teaching hospital around where you are, you can find a group there - and if you tell the Receptionist/Call center precisely what it is you are going through, they will give you a Doc who is proficient in that area. Some do Pain, Some Anxiety/Panic, etc.
So you get a Doc who deals with this type of "delicate matter" as his/her specialty. You can still keep your Psycholgist, but my concern is that even though everything is through the same "Clinic" - 1 Doc should oversee it all. Especially with all the types of meds you are taking. A Good Psychiatrist is a walking PDR, will be gentle and helpful and if you walk in and meet him/her and don't like them, you can leave! Life is a delicate balance. Don't stress. There's no time limit and you can decide to INCLUDE A PSYCHIATRIST, or just check one out or not. I wish you all the happiness in the world. The information that is coming out to you now will change your life in a positive way and you really need someone who is 110% ON YOUR SIDE and will help you not only get through it, but get through it and BE HEALTHIER! My Very Best to you! This is a GOOD thing! Be strong!
I too had a flashback from my childhood but i didnt go down the legal side of things but turned to the ilegal side (The dark side) I was in my early twenties when i came to england full of beans after traveling the world!! My brother had been living here for a while so i think maybe i was missing him a bit so decided to stay a bit longer ! One of the main reasons for coming over cause i was crowned an uncle too!!So while we were wetting the babies head somewhere along the line a new substance had popped up on my radar.(more about that in a min)Anyway long story short i had realised that my bro was in contact with our uncle then it came down on me like a ton of bricks!!I had an overwhelming surge of anger,hurt,hate,vengence,all in one hit!!
When i tried to refresh bro's memory from back to our childhood i hit a nerve.His memory of uncle soon changed as the penny dropped!!So that had been one of many issuse that had been brushed under the carpet typical of many familys.There is a point to all of this so i hope you can take somthing from it mate !!
Work was a plenty and jack the lad was out to play! I had no-one to answer to either.I had made a few friends (i thought they were friends!)and me being me was very generous with my hard earned chash!! I was a keen drinker of beer and the odd spliff ,coke,exstacy,magicmushrooms,speed,valium,ketamin,crack,and last but not least heroine!!! out of all those heroine was my drug of choice!!And before i came over i was anti smack funny that !!Where i had tried everthing on the market this one caught my attention for some reason and in the end curiosity gave way and i tried it !!MY "friend" had some on him and i asked to have a go and i liked it instantly !! Little did i know that this was going to be the biggest mistake of my life!! Pandora's box was now officially open!!Things just went mental after this i could write a book on it but im straying from the suject at hand!!So in-between all this madness i had become a father for first time which blew my mind cause prior to this i was ready to go back home!! It did not work out between us so we split up six months after connor was born(my son)But i was true to my word and stuck by him whatever the weather!!More than i could say for my own dad who left wen i was one yrs old!!But thats another story!! Ok ten years on im now addicted to heroine,booze,weed,and things were pretty bad but i still kept working to feed the monster i had become! I met my partner and things changed for the better but it wasent easy hiding my addictions from her so eventually it all came out in the wash !!! She knew everything there was to know about me so i felt comfort in that !!
I would love to talk all day sorry bout this !!You seem to be on a delicate balance of meds but i feel that you may have entered into a tug of war situation be it pyisical or mentally!!The meds seem to help you but also conflict with your everyday routine!! Heroine for me blocked all my darkest thoughts but secretly destroyed my life ! I know if we could all go back and change the past we would but one thing is for sure in this life is that we can change the future !! just dont give up on yourself mate you can get through this! Your family love you for who you are!! I will have to go now duty calls will talk soon onwards and upwards mate!!! god bless !!
If I could make a suggestion, kick the Nuvigil. I did. I would automatically take one in the a.m. with my pain medication ritually (Nucynta and Xanax- the xanax I use for b/l lower leg/feet pain, I don't know why but this works by relaxing the muscles in my legs, especially the left and allows me to be able to sit at my desk, work, ect., but it does.) Sometimes, I would even take a 2nd Nuvigil in the afternoon/early evening. I bought one of those '5 hour Energy drinks' (those little bottles you see @ the supermarket line or convenience stores) after happening upon an aol article titled something along the lines of, "Want to know what's really in it- we're going to break it down".
When I read the ingeredients, I was impressed to see that it is not another "Red Bull" garbage drink, but is actually Niacin, B6, B12, folic acid, and an 'energy blend' that was also broken down in the article. I have never touched another Nuvigil- this stuff is great. You don't crash, there is no sugar in it (though it tastes pretty good), and only 18mg of sodium, caffeine= 1 cup of coffee. I have been using it for the past couple of weeks as needed- so much better than taking something pharmeceudical, plus i was deficient in B12/folic acid anyway. Now I don't have to take a suppliment for those. It counteracts the xanax for me, so my brain doesn't feel like i took it, but my legs do. I love when I can replace a med with something better for me, I have done the same replacing my Reglan with Papaya enzyme chewable tablets. Just a thought, if you take the Nuvigil out of the equation, then you may be able to not have a need for the Cialis. Thanks... hope you feel better
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