... 24 married with our third child on the way. It started when we were 16 he drank once in a while smoked weed and than popped pills. It was never a every day thing. It started in our first apartment he started doing oxys and smoking weed. 2005 I found a half bitten pill in his wallet and it just didnt feel right. I took the pill and threw it out he went crazy looking for it thinking that mabe it dropped out he punched a hole in the wall and went nuts looking for it. I than tried to call my parents to leave and he smacked the phone out of my hand. I than knew that what I thought was my happy relationship was going to never be the same. I love him to death and just wish it had got better. I went to his mom for help she helped us by keeping track of our income making sure the bills got paid and he wasnt out spending it on drugs. We moved to our next place and i was pregnant again and the history repeated itself. He promised he would stop and that he detoxed him self at his dads and that he loved me and wanted to be with me and our children. Time went by and again it all happend again we moved to a town home and he still had his great job than it happend he hurt him self at work and thats when it got worse. He started going to the doctors for pain meds and they had him on so much stuff i thought it was ok bc it was from a doctor. Than he started over using them and buying pills off the street and even his mom did it as well. I didnt realize how bad it was but we got married and he promised as soon as he could he was gonna go to rehab well he never did that was 2007. He was home from work on workers comp and doing the drugs we moved to another place and he just kept up his lies and his hiding and than we moved a year later again to a house in the city and this was 2009. One day I woke up and just couldnt take it any more i was working and cleaning and cooking and taking care of my kids and stressed out over him i went out one night got drunk and didnt go home till 6 am. Two weeks later i went out again drank again met a guy and just spilled my guts. A few weeks later i went to his house and cheated. I told my husband that this was the end of us bc i didnt want to do this any more he knew what was going on. He still kept doing his drugs i kept on drinking to kill the pain i got rid of that guy and chris still did the drugs and i just seperated my self from him was with my kids till bed and left at night to get away from seeing it. He got worse more drugs we finally moved apart in 2010 and he was still just as bad on perks and methodone and whatever else. we got back together again in 2011 and i stopped drinking in 2010 bc i knew it wasnt helping me he slowed down and only took what he was suppose to and he said he was serious about getting rid of his addiction. He started at a methodone clinic well it hasnt helped he still takes whatever and goes there and when he runs out hes in withdraw and again over and over. We are about to have our third child this tuesday and I am freaked out bc it seems like history just keeps repeating its self I love him I know i can't change him and if I try to talk to him about it its always you dont know anything and i feel like ive tried to over and over again help him i try to not say as much as i can and now im at another point where i wanna just scream from the roof ops that i dont want this for him i love him his kids love him why cant he love himself enough to stop?

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