My boyfriend of a year, went to rehab in July of this year. He was using spice and drinking. He told me that spice was a "legal" version of pot and it wasn't a big deal, the drinking was something I thought was just a weekend thing when he was working in the yard or watching football. After I noticed things weren't right I was ready to end it, he started acting very strange and not himself. Paranoid, needy, depressed,,, the total opposite from when I met him. He was so much fun to be around and seemed totally crazy about me. After not seeing much of him for a few weeks and after questioning what was wrong with him he finally opened up to me about what he was doing, how long he had been doing it and what it was doing to him mentally. On his own he went to a drug rehab... after hearing what he was going through and seeing how it physically affected him I wanted to help him, his family had no idea what was going on so it all fell on me. I love this man with all my heart so I did what anyone would do, and wanted to help him. I drove him to rehab and was doing everything I could to support him. While he was gone his family contacted me asking where he was, and against his counselor's advice, I told them (they were ready to file a missing persons report so I felt I had no other choice) During the time he was gone we spoke once a day and I could hear the change in his voice, he was slowly getting back to the man I met and missed so damn much. He's been home for 3 months now and at first everything seemed ok. I went to his chip out ceramony and have been his biggest supporter in all of this. Now, he's changed. He said his sponsor and counselor told him he doesn't need to be with anyone for a year or longer, he needs to focus on recovery. If I was doing anything to jeapordize his recovery I would totally understand that, but I have done everything in my power to be there for him and to help him. He had totally cut me out of everything, and i just don't get it. I love this man with all my heart and hurt doesn't even begin to describe how I feel right now. I feel used, betrayed, lied to, lead on... just totally devastated. Before he finally told me he wanted to "take a break" it seemed everything I did, including sleeping, was wrong. He bitched and complained and nothing I ever did was good enough for him. It's like he hated me and I for the life of me can't figure out why. What the hell did I do so wrong? I don't know what to do at this point. He wrote me a letter and gave it to me the day I picked him up and he said he loved me, I was the love of his life, he was going to do whatever it took to make us work. If that was true why would anyone tell him to end our relationship. When you love someone you are with them through good and bad times, you love them uncondionally, you are there to support them, cheer them on... I just don't understand the complete turn around. He is still going to meetings, he is still working his steps... I just don't know if I should give up or wait. It just feels like he needed someone to help him through the roughest part... and he just has no use for me anymore. So many emotions and things that's happened to even tell it all right now, but I love this man with every ounce of my being and i can't figure out why this is happening!
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