I am 21 year old male, and one month ago I have discovered an perianal abscess, and 3 days after the discovery I went to great and well-known surgeon for treatment. It was medium size abcess and very swollen and painful when i went to doctor for first control check. As I knew nothing about the condition at the time, I did not know what to expect.
When i went to first control check, doctor told me to do the treatment right away.The treatment was done without anesthesia, and not in operation room. The doctor tried if I understood good to cut a big hole to put a drain inside, and failed each of the 3 consecutive days i went to treatment, since each time I have experienced what i believe is 8/10 pain on pain scale (i fall unconcious after each treatment).
I was supposed to return for a treatment at least one more day, and the morning of the 4th treatment I saw that my underware is full with pus and blood, and that the hole created from previous 3 treatmens is big enough for rest of pus to come out. I have decided not to go for 4th treatment, since i could not stand that pain one more time, and started trying to squeeze pus out on my own, and when notthing would come out anymore, i tought the problem is behind me.

Now the perianal abscess has returned. It is half the size of last one, and is not that swollen or painful, today is probably the first day of it being visible on outside. It is again in perianal area.

Since my doctor (really world class doctor) does treatment in very painful way i have few questions before going back to him for a nightmare treatment:

1. How dangerous is actually perianal abscess, and what is a fistula?
2. Researching the internet i found that other doctors treat perianal abscess with surgery, is my doctor trying to keep me away from surgery, or he is just doing treatment harder way?
3. If I go for a treatment like before, is there any antibiotics that can help with the swelling so the pain is lighter?
4. Is it possible and safe for me to try to squeeze it out again, since when I do it to myself I am a lot more careful then doctor is and my squeezing lasts for 30 min.