My husband was an alcoholic for years and honestly believe he has kicked that addiction almost a year ago. He then started doing opiates a year ago. I am unsure of how often. He says it has been a short stent of it and not all the time. We have had a few incidents the last year. Kicked out of our home and he lived on the streets for a couple weeks, lived in sober living for almost 5 months, and just recently we found him in the bathroom on the floor with a needle next to him (which ended up being heroin). He was taken to the hospital emergency by ambulance and received a ticket for being under an illegal substance. Was released then next night took many Xanax and was hard to wake up. Ambulance was called again and then he was 5150d due to possibly wanting to harm himself. He was released from pysch hospital after 5 days. He signed up for an outpatient addiction program with our insurance now. He is being tested every day and has been given medication for the opiate withdrawals or just to help him get past the issue - since he says he is not addicted to it like other addicts. I believe him and then I don't at the same time. He doesn't plan to continue the program after court and says he will not stop smoking pot. I am at a loss of what to do. Do I stay or go? I have a toddler to think about; he is good with our child though and our child loves him very much. He is not taking the program seriously; he says he is going through the motions of it for court and does not feel he needs it since he says he is DONE with it. I have told him that if he ever goes back to it I will be done with this life together - I will not continue with him if he choses to do that life. He states I am asking too much of him at one time. Do I remain patient and let him (Let him is a funny word since he will do what he wants to do and how am I to really stop him) smoke pot and keep faith, hope and trust that he is truely DONE with opiates? His family is so against him smoking and wants him to not get kicked out of the program; I feel pressure from them on me to get him to do the program and to stop. What am I to do? I need advice. I feel a mess inside and so much to deal with everyday - it is hard.
Hi Amy. I really feel for you. It sounds like you already know what you need to do. It doesn't sound like he's willing or even wanting to stop. I think you need to get you and your child away from him. Drugs are the devil and make people do some crazy stuff. It's easier said than done I know. As long as you stay you're sending a message to him that you are OK with what he does. I wish I had more to tell you but I think you already know what to do. There are some great people on this site. Sometimes it just takes awhile for them to answer. Hang in there!!!
Only you can make this decision but I will tell you that now that you have issued the ultimatum that if he uses again that you and the child are gone, you need to stick to your guns. If he uses again, you need to pack up and go, taking the child with you.and dont go back until he proves he is clean forever!! If you take back that ultimatum or dont follow through, he will never again believe you are serious and will continue to do whatever knowing that he can talk his way out and you'll forgive him. It will be difficult but stick to your guns. If he cannot give this up for his kid then he never will and then you have your answer. He has to make up his own mind to stop using. Heroin doesnt give up a person easily and he will struggle and unless he is truly willing to fight, he will never make it. You will be doing him a favor if you leave as it will give him a reason to be clean and dont go back until you are absolutely CERTAIN he is done!! Good luck to you! Your road will not be an easy one to walk.
I feel for you so much, and having this young child in the middle of this is not an easy situation at all. I agree that you should stick to your guns and definately leave if he starts using again. I'm going to be honest though. It concerns me that he says he will not stop smoking pot. I'm afraid that will lead him right back to the other eventually. I'm not an expert, but I'm speaking from personal experience. My own. I was willing to stop drinking one time, because I used to be a chronic alcoholic, but wouldn't give up my pot. All was good... for a very short time. The drinking went hand in hand with smoking the pot. I don't do either one anymore, Thank God, but I just wanted to give you something to think about. Like you don't have enough allready... right. But I honestly hope you will know to do the right thing here. Trust your gut instinct. And your heart. And think about that little baby, who doesn't have a say in any of this right now. I hope and pray you make the right decision and everything works out for you. I wish you nothing but peace and happiness hon. Take care and best wishes to you and your family. Ruth
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