I can sure use some support?
- 16 May 2012 by Anonymous
- 18 May 2012
I just got off the phone with my ex about my son spending the night or weekend with me. I had been talking to my son back and forth all day, he said that he wants to spend the weekend, but he said that his dad wants to talk to me first.
My ex and I hace joint custody of my son he lives with his dad..long story--- my ex told me if I'm having a bad day or not feeling sees good I have to notify my son's father as so possible!!! Because Andy SHOULD NOT SEE ME in this way like I'm on drugs... THAT I'M NOT FEELING GOOD..for example that I'm on my period. You know mom's we have been sick with a cold and our kids see that..nobody takes your kids away from us, right?
He goes on about the medication I'm on he swears that I'm on this heavy duty drugs would leave me not having the ability to take oat f my son. I do NOT take any illigal drugs.
P.S, This is a traumng event and emotional
This is so wrong! We will see what happens.
I can totally relate to you on this as I went through the same thing with my Ex.
I have a couple of questions how old is your son ? Also I take it that your divorce is finalized?
If you have joint custody & it is finalized & it is your day then you DO NOT have to abide by his rules... He is just being a jerk. You are a mother & you know if you are capable of taking care of your child or not. If you are taking medications that you always take & are functioning as always it should not be your exs business. I know that it was important that my kids understood that I was in pain & that there were going to be things that I would not Always be able to do something they wanted to that night. My kids have grown up knowing that it is important to know that ' compromise is some time necessary.
The also have learned the importance of how important it is to offer help & support to others & they are very compassionate & loving & supportive.
Your child needs to know you will have good days & bad days but between the two of you that you will both find a way to balance things. Tell your EX THAT HE DOES NOT HAVE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE & YOUR RELATION SHIP WITH YOUR CHILD. Stand your Ground because just because you are sick does not mean you & your childs relationship should suffer from it. Feel free to message me anytime as my heart goes out to you I have been were you are & it is a VERY DARK place. Hang in there & be strong.
If you have joint custody he cannot make up his own rules. I think I'd call my lawyer if I were you, all Mom's don't feel well from time to time, besides your ex being a man, what is his excuse for being a jerk.
Abby, Butterfly is absolutely right in everything she told you. Your son is old enough to understand that you have these conditions, but it doesn't mean you love him any less, & you want to spend time with him. Your sons father has not right to keep him from you. Even if you have to get legal aid involved, a phone call or letter from them should straiten this out in a hurry. Your son is old enough to help you too. Please don't give up on this. I know what it means to you, & what your ex is doing is trying to shut you out of your sons life. If necessary, get a note from your doctor that you care capable of having your son come to visit. Just my thoughts... Mary
Blondie33. Very good. Lets see what happens and keep us posted.pledge
You have some great responses from everyone here.
Mary suggested that you get a hold of Legal Aid & I think that You DEFINATELY need to do this especially after hearing your latest post. Anytime someone moves or changes addresses & phone numbers by law they have to notify the other parent with current contact info. Legal Aid will help you make changes through the court. Since your son is 15 the courts will allow your sons wishes to be considered & they will usually honor his wishes before your exs.
I am not sure what State you live in but depending on the State kids at the age of 15 are considered emancipated which means they Do Not Have to abide by child custody laws. You might check into getting ahold of Legal Aid & they will be able to help you ALOT... But the Most Important thing to do is make sure your son has a way to contact YOU & ask him to keep you posted if his phone# changes.
With your son being 15 he is definately old enough to help you out if you are having one of your bad days. On the bad days think of low energy things you can do together like watching some movies he likes or just spend time letting him know how much you love him. Best of luck.. Kathy
I understand about legal aide. You need to find your copy of the divorce & see how it was written up. Then call tLphe county that this was filed in. Then if it states in the divorce agreement . If it is wooten up stating when you are allowed to see your son you can file a
Court order stating all that you have told I'd me especially about the part where he moved & he did not give you the address & phone#. Your ex will then be in CONTEMPT of the court. If you get this on him you will not have to worry about him violating your rights again.
Also if the courts find all of this to be true your EX will be resposible court for his & Yours Court cost.. Double Whammy to that idiot. Hope this helps.
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