Hi All, I haven't posted in a while. I have been doing OK, I still don't?leave the house much. My wife is still here,but very strained relationship. I cant possibly name all the people here that have me, I haven't been any help to anyone , and I do feel bad about that. At this time I just don't have much to give. This BP is taking a large toil om me. In many ways. My entire family have turned their backs on me. My wife has now due to what I did Saturday. Like I have said, I don't leave my house, I have been online with face book and stay there most of the day. All my old friends are there. It has been good to talk with them . I posted a lot of old photos, of the parties we had here. Saturday I went to one of our friends funeral, Long story short/ It was an Irish wake, with 50+ bottles of whisky and wine. I snuck a few glasses of wine , to calm my nerves. which led to me drinking shot's of whisky. I made every one very mad at me!! I quickly went into a black out! I had no intention I was going to do that. I was going to leave after the service. I am so ashamed of my self, and disappointed in my self. I Slept all of Sunday now to day I feel I am back to square !. the anxiety,self worth, On and on. I want to know if any other BP people has done this? I was doing so well. This is almost more than I can bear. I will never be prescribed any Benzos. My nerves are totally shot. Thank you Disappointed Dave Love All of you