My family are grown & out of the house & I've lived alone for the past 3 years in a studio apt. I dont know what to do with all of this free time, plus recently I've started not wanting to go anywhere ie; for groceries, doctors office, take out the trash, walk outside to get the mail. I will open my front door for fresh air, but the minute I smell smoke or know that my neighbor is outside I close my door. I cant take this anymore. I used to be so active & now I'm a recliner potatoe. What should I do? please dont say 'you have to get out more' that doesnt help at all... Anyone else have this problem or know of someone who has?
Hi, Pauline! Ouch! Empty nest syndrome, boredom, maybe wondering if there's anything left to look forward to?
Sure, I could say eat your green veggies, go for a walk, join a club ~ but how are you supposed to do that when you can barely make it through the day? The problem is that the more you slop around the house the worse it gets.
You should consider ~ actually you need to ~ talking with someone you trust. Your family doctor, maybe your priest or pastor. You probably have a a situational depression and that needs to be treated before you can move on.
A support group might be helpful to re-inforce your self-esteem.
But you have to start taking some steps because only you can do this for yourself. Get up, have a nourishing breakfast, and start making some calls. Every positive baby step you take WILL make you feel better.
You can always feel free to post a note here. We've all been down there and if nothing else we can share our experiences so you never have to feel like you're all alone out there.
My best wishes to you, Pauline! WCV
When I'm depressed and or anxious I behave exactly the same way. I'm a younger guy and I love getting out and meeting people, running, shopping, movies, outdoors. But I have gone through periods where I went to work. Came home slept sat around did nothing. Weekend the same did nothing. Getting adequate quality sleep helped me. Eating healthy foods helped me. Refraining from alcohol helped me. Sometimes I would force myself to do something and in the end I enjoyed it. Also sometimes I overwhelmed my self with intentions to do big complicated things that I never did. However doing small little things that worked. Let's just take a 30 min walk. Just go get a coffee and read a book. When my anxiety flares up I can't stand public spaces as well. If I refuse to go out then I try to find something constructive to do other than tv and sitting around. Clean up a closet or messy drawer. Read a book or call an old friend and catch up with them.
I think for me start our small was the key to my changing. I also reached my max level of doing nothing. Try Meet Up too. I found good groups on there. Hope this helps.
I am so sorry to hear this. I am truly saddened you are feeling this way. I too, have been there too. I was miserable, and even more so, my anxiety was a lot more horrible than it had ever been. I am not sure if I am really able to answer your questions directly because, I was able to become active, and socialize again, but I am still not sure how/why I changed to this day. It sounds crazy, maybe it was the realization one morning that I was going to die if I didn't seek out help soon. It took a lot for me to realize that, but once I did, I was more than ready to put one foot in front of the other.
Have you looked into agoraphobia. It is and can be a very debilitating condition. It starts out with depression then into panics that people are to close and you have no way to exit a building or room. Some people even are scared to have their front door open. My father has it and I'm starting to get the first signs. Please know you are never alone on here. Best of luck and positive energy coming your way. Another thing that may help is to be your own advocate. You and you alone are the own that knows what you are having to go through. Press on until you get the help "you" need not what the dr wants you to be on. Start out treat ion the symptoms.
Your friend Brenda
Here is my email it's my screen name with the # 2 at aol dot com
I have been thinking about your situation lately as my has been coming to the surface lately
The problem lies within your struggle to find freedom with actual restrictions. To face reality would be hard and getting out becomes to be a struggle you will find to break habit of... now there are plenty of ideas from a thought to a plan. So i take it that the possiblity of you communicating through a wireless or what not device inside your home? Well thats ok but if this helps out that someone is actually there to talk and encourage you because you have to build up little by little to get you back on your feet, you can do it!! Talk to your higher power if you will. Its not too late whatever your inner struggles try to be at peace with what you can im rooting for you to get out and take a walk farther and farther each time. Then inspire yourself that you can and have done so already !!
I feel your pain, I'm getting that way too. I can actually go outside but I live in the country. It's very hard for me to do anything else like going to the store or for a walk. I feel isolated and all alone. I just got out of a 5 year relationship that caused me to develop this anxiety panic disorder. I was mistreated and talked down to all the time. I finally just left and it's been 6 months and it hasn't gotten any better. I'm now on zoloft and I also take valium for meiners. I just started the zoloft again last Friday because I wasn't giving it enough time to work I had stopped it after 9 days. So now I want my life back so I'm going to do what the dr wants and I'm going to give it time. If you need to talk I'm here. I know what your going through. Best Wishes. AJ
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