I started feeling insecure by people and by my self because my voice even chnaged. Like I became emotinal. Ever see a movie where it shows a woman on the couch crying eating ice cream? I felt like that and I'm a guy.lol I also was sleeping 18 hours a day and my concentrartion has gotten worst over 3 years now when this all started. I hit an IED and since then these issues. I was put on ritalin and citrolopram for moods, but it has helpled me in my sleeping issues to now. Now I just hope my pysciall energy comes back along with my personality. Like once a week I feel good, then the other days I feel not like a kid since I started this med 2 months ago, but still not myself. I even had a anger outburst a week ao. Glad it happend though so the doctor can see what I mean by I still dont feel like personality has come back until i snapped that day. kind of blacked out and woke up in my chair. it was like being drunk you remeber things then don't remeber falling a sleep. I do have a neuropsychological test coming up in two months. maybe this will help in finding my personality chnage and concentration issues? I'm 33 by the way. this all started actually almost 4 years ago when I hit an IED but about 5 months after the IED, this is when I had a complete mood chnage. I remeber it very well, it was like something was shut off. I did feel this affect again when i started citrolopram but still I dont feel 100 better more like 50% but again its been 2 months now, maybe give med more time?
I would definitely give the medications more time and I assume you are in therapy as well. You may need an increase in dosage or an additional med added such as Lamictal, but keep in mind the medications will only do so much toward your recovery; the rest is up to you to overcome. I assume you are in the military and that is how you came in contact with an IED? I do hope they are providing your care and will continue to do so.
Hi, i agree, some kind of counselling is essential. Are you seeing a psychiatrist? It's good that you are going to have tests done, it might uncover something that could help you get back to yourself? I answered another question you posted, suggesting that you might want to try increasing the Citalopram to 40mg again (with your doctors advice). When i did this, after a week i felt a world of difference. I know you don't like the severe tiredness but maybe something to consider in the future, hopefully you can get past this as i did?
PTSD is often overlooked as to just how severe it can be. I myself when having a great deal of troubles with my childhood, a period of time in which my mind has repressed to the point of having a total inability to remember the ages spanning from age 0 to 11 or 12. When I do recall these memories I loose total control of myself, becoming that same child, hurt and scared, willing to do whatever it takes to make the trip down memory lane stop.
With that said, I am not myself during a flashback, happy and fine one minute and in a flash a desperate and suicidal child. These rollercoasters make my panic attacks enjoyable in comparison. Not only do I get these horrific flashbacks, but my body when emotionally distressed shuts down and repress the event. One Thanksgiving I lost all memory that following day and had to ask my wife what had happened.
When my body shuts down, I can literally be in the middle of a fight and randomly fall asleep while standing. I can't tell you how irritating my wife finds this. I currently take Nuvigil, but when in such a situation it has.no effect. This can be very dangerous while driving.
Before I was ever aware of being sick, unaware that I had almost no childhood memories (I do remember vacations), I would find myself randomly at times shifting personalities in addition to gaining a southern accent. I live and grew up primarily in Chicago as well as a few years in LA. Multiple personalities is not unheard of for PTSD, especially when the trauma lasted for a long period of time. There are many varieties of this sort of thing as well (all various symptoms of PTSD).
The medications that helped me the most have been minipress, an alpha blocker, an antidepressant, and huge amounts of klonopin as severe agitation accompanies these flair ups in my case, thus without the med allowing for almost no sleep and continuous panic attacks.
As of late I've found that the martial arts have done more good than therapy or medications ever have. With my active and daily workouts, it is in a sense a moving meditation that has helped ground myself. If I were experiencing a flair up, medication and in some cases hospitalization is needed, not the martial arts. When finally stable, I would encourage for you to look into mediation of any type, moving or still.
These are my experiences, and while the medications listed as well as meditation works wonders for me, I also understand how different each person is. Nonetheless, the martial arts helping my ptsd was something that I had no idea about. I've been involved in many styles for years, however stopped when I came down with my collection of issues.
Hope that my story is of some help to you! Sincerely,
Hi question. How are you today. I ( mean she) wanted to tell you a story about a lady who had a good life. Then she lost it.
I met a man and he dumped me and through me out in the cold on Jan. 7., 2007. I became a mad person. He said it was our home and he put my name on the title to it.
My entire family, including 5 siblings and wives hated me and wanted nothing to do with me, and they don't to this day.
I walked for a few days before I found a vehicle that I could sleep in. It was put in impound 3 times, and this time I couldn't get it out.
I was back on the street again.
I went bankrupt
I was robbed 10 times.
Beaten three times.
Sexually assaulted in a trash bin.
Had a gun aimed at me 2 times.
I was put in jail three times
Strip searched many times.
I went through winter, spring, and summer, homeless.
I went through trash bins for food and anything I could find of value to trade with. I made a lemon last for 12 hrs.
I wanted to go home, but I had none.
I was committed by my daughter and I found out I was under court order for one year.
I was served by police and the paperwork said I couldn't see my mom for a year.
I lived in a foster home, which was the worst foster home you can possibly imagine.
I withdrew from everyone.. I haven't stopped yet. I stay in my place all time, unless my daughter drives me and she has ms and we still go shopping. I'm ok with strangers. I don't have any association with them.
In June of 2008, I moved into my own place. I live with a roof over my head, a shower, toilet, kitchen, bedroom and a living room big enough to hold a ton of people, even though I don't entertain. I have some food in my cupboards.
All that doesn't stop the racing thoughts. For example, I go into store and I see something that I USE to have, but it was stolen, or my music stand, or my beautiful jewelry that I planned on giving my daughter as her inheritance, was stolen. Or, a man. In all these years, I've had absolutely NO desire for a relationship. I won't even look a man in the face for fear I might see those eyes again. My proximity is 6 ft. with people.
Don't go through what I did. Get anyone to help you. Anyone you trust. Only you know who that is. It would be nice to see a Dr. If you've ever had a time to see him, now is it. Do you think you need meds of some kind? That seems like a silly question, but during that six months I was homeless, I stopped taking my meds. Huge mistake. I lost my mind. Before you lose yours, reach out to someone who can help you. Please. Even if your better a few days, does it come back?
God bless you and take care,
I don't know alot about PTSD, but, I am so glad I don't. From what I have read, it has to be the worse thing. Because just the depression/anxiety is so terribly awful. I now understand what a friend of mine is/has been going thru after hearing what you all have to say. Her daughter, which, is now I guess in her late 30's. I need to ck that out. She was raped by 3 men and beaten years ago and has never gotten over it. She will do fine and then relaspe. She does good and then she thinks she doesn't need her medicine and goes off of it w/out her parents knowing. She is in a recovery house now for at least 6 months. They have tried everything. She was such a beautiful girl, so full of life. She was engaged at the time this happened and he left her. She was in Macon, Ga and I think at a Marriot and forgot something in her car. Went out at around 11:00pm and was attacked in the parking lot.
I don't know the whole story, but, her life and her families life has never been the same. I understand more now. PTSD is very serious. I am going to ask my friend if she has cked out this site. I think it will help her and in turn maybe she can help her daughter. Don't ever give up and don't stop taking your medicine. I'm sorry, but, what is IED. Is it something to do w/military? God bless.
Dear one who questions, PTSD is something I am familiar with. It is true that the basic idea now is to not go over the event endlessly. We wear those paths in our brain until they become almost automatic. Always there. It is true that the scenes may haunt one for a while. It is very true that with time they go away. The biggest challenge is to stop making sense of the events. They don't make sense and never will. They can't be changed. It is done.
One event of being harmed had me in a black out for four or five months as a child. It was the first day of summer vacation and it was almost Halloween when I woke up. So to speak. I had no idea where I was and what was happening around me, even though my family thought I was fine, just quiet.
Feelings are the important part, not rehashing an event. A good cry is fine for anyone. It was terribly sad, right? Men and women cry. We are made that way. My husband cried when our daughter when into a dangerous surgery. Why not? I was too. Crying helps relieve the pain. Ice cream is a classic. Just don't let it rule your life as you will weigh a ton. Then you will have something new to cry about, right? Lol.
A personality change is very true. It is up to you to decide if this new you is the one you want to be. It sounds sad and in pain. Perhaps something better can be your choice? It is up to you to do this. No one else can. All change comes from within.
Talking to a good therapist who understands PTSD will help a lot. Stay away from self medicating with booze, drugs, or food. Look for joy and know you have much to give others. You survived the unthinkable. Share your strength with others. You will heal. You will be fine. Give yourself the time. Karen
Hi question. How are you feeling today? Just checking in. What you experienced was on a much higher level of ptsd than I have. I can't imagine what it must be like for you. Thank you for fighting for our country. I think I have more up days then I did. I pray you will, also. My heart aches for anyone who has gone through an IED.
God bless you, question.
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