alright then psyched; i will talk about my situation on this.

my main problem is i need help understanding whats wrong with me. i have really depressing thoughts going through my head that really have no reason to be there. i cant get them to go away either. along with these thoughts i have a tendency to become upset very easily. it feels like im about to cry only i don't start I am just stuck at the worst part of crying. example: in chemistry i showed up late so my teacher told me i had to write "i will not be late for class" 15 times on a piece of paper. i had no problem with this. once i was done writing a few minutes later i turned it in... my teacher merely raised his voice and told me i was supposed to be working on something else and that i was going to fail. my heart started pounding and i had trouble breathing through my mouth and talking. i have talked to my school counselor about this only she did not do anything about it. ive talked to my doctor about this only he did not listen. ive talked to my mother about this and the answer i got back was "i want to help you only its hard because i need help to.". i can not talk to my father about this because he hates me... literally he even told me he should have used protection.

a few more things. i care to much about people not having bad opinions of me. i feel like im being evaluated all the time. i dont want anybody in the world to look down upon me.

and probably the weirdest one of all that causes the most misery is not sleeping. sometimes for a few days, other times up to a few weeks . when this happens i end up sort of.. in a trance. the same thing happens when ever i calm down from getting worked up over stupid things such as almost failing one assignment and having a teacher raise their voice thus having 30 other peers thinking im an idiot or lazy; even though I'm actually quite smart. the lazy part is somewhat true i try to avoid doing things unless they are absolutely necessary.

so reader, if you could answer the questions below it would be MUCH appreciated.

is there something wrong with me
what is wrong with me.
how do i get help. i haven't got a ride to anywhere.