Back story: I have had issues with anxiety and depression throughout my life mostly during difficult times like breaking up with my boyfriend, loss of loved ones and after child birth. I have tried several antidepressants but could not handle the effects... Nausea, vomiting, feeling my heart racing, etc. After the birth of my son I was put on Ativan. It was the first med that ever helped. 1 mg in the morning, 1 in the afternoon and 2 at night. I weaned myself off after about a year slowly with some bad but not horrible withdrawals for a few weeks.
Fast forward to my second baby and I wanted to be prepared with my history of postpartum issues so they put me on Lexapro and Xanax. I asked for Ativan but they didn't want to put me on that. I could not handle the Lexapro. Made me feel sick to my stomach and caused my anxiety to skyrocket. So they agreed to just let me take Xanax. .25 mg 4x a day. It worked very well but did up my dose to .5 mg 3x a day after a few months. Very colicky baby and no sleep is so hard!
A while back I was having a good few days and baby was happy and sleeping good so I skipped my afternoon dose. Didn't even think about taking one and a few hours later I had what I think was a severe panick attack. Nausea, sensitivity to light and sound, racing heart, feeling awful. Finally I thought to take a Xanax and almost instantly felt better.
Same thing happened a week later only this time I took my afternoon dose and it was a good hour or 2 before my next dose!
Now I am just scared. Tried cutting my pill in half but got shaky and scared before my next dose was due. My baby is 4 months and teething and very fussy and not sleeping good. I don't want to be on meds forever but hopefully no more than 1 year like with my first kid. I just don't think the Xanax is working right anymore and need to switch something up. I tried to get in to see my psychiatrist sooner but he is booked up.
Any advice? I don't really want to keep upping my dose of Xanax. Maybe I could switch to a different benzo for a while and hopefully wean off this summer.