My husband and I have been having problems for some time and has actually exasorbated my chronic pain, which adds to our problems and we just go in a big circle. I feel guilty for something that is beyond my control and he makes me feel even more guilty by verbally abusing me sometimes when our arguments get out of control. We have both said things we cannot take back and regret, but I feel he really gets off on trying to paint me as some sort of unfit parent and person for having to take pain medicine for legitimate pain. Our sex life is nonexistent and I have tried and tried to make time for us to go out and do different things, but I either don't feel well, or he doesn't make a move and my self esteem is so low at this point I'm not making any moves on him. I feel like he should pursue me. I need that as a woman. I don't like it the other way around. Anyway, I know this isn't a site for personal relationships, but I feel they are definitely affected by conditions that cause physical problems like chronic pain and I was just wondering if anyone has gone through this and what they did to turn it around. I feel like my husband is shutting down. I don't think we even want to fight anymore. I'm considering moving on with my life, but am staying to fight for my marriage and my daughter to have a "normal" life with a father that lives in our home and is around for her to grow up. My parents are still married and I have never experienced divorce on any level and I can't imagine putting myself through it, much less my daughter. We have been in counseling and it didn't help. Just brought up old stuff and started us arguing again about the same thing we had gotten over before we went in for the therapy session. We are not going back to counseling so that' out. You can't make someone want you. What should I do? Any caring suggestions? I want this to work, but I need him to want me in that way. Just a sad sad night here tonight. A lot of tears and worry. I just want one happy day.
Love,
Lillypurp