my boyfriend and i had sex for the first time and we had a long time just to put his penis inside me because i was really tight and when he finally inserted his whole penis inside me, he decided to stop what we are doing because he sees that im in pain, and i admit im in too much pain , he does not even pushed in and out of his penis inside me. when i asked him if he ejaculated inside me or cum a little bit, he says he's sure that he's not. but im still afraid. we're not using condom is another reason why im afraid. answer please help me :( im 17 years old.
Hopefully you aren't pregnant - time will tell. Now that you are sexually active you need to get adequate birth control. Please talk to your mom, a relative or the school counselor - someone to help you get to a doctor, even if you aren't pregnant. Because you don't want to get pregnant, and now that you've had sex you most likely will again. And don't worry - it only hurts the first time. Then it gets great (but get that birth control first, ok?). EJ23
It sounds like you need my tutorial. I keep this for girls like you who are new to sex and not really sure what is happening. It is a lot of information but PLEASE read it all. If you have questions you can send me a private message. I used to be a nurse at a family planning clinic so I am well informed on these things.
For all girls who think they may be pregnant:Please Read!?
1. The pull-out method is not a method, you can still get pregnant-males secrete sperm all throughout the sex act. They cannot feel it and they certainly cant control it. Even if he doesnt see fluid when he masturbates it still occurs. Vaginal sex is much more intense than masturbation and sperm is microscopic. The majority of sperm are released during ejaculation but many are released prior and it only takes one!
2. You can get pregnant if he just rubs his area on your area, but doesnt stick it in, but chances are very small
3. You can get pregnant if you have sex in the water
4. You can get pregnant while on your period
5. You can get pregnant anytime of the month, you never know when you are actually ovulating unless you chart for years. Ovulation charts are a “guesstimate” at best-they are not very accurate.
6. Sperm do not die immediately on contact with the air
7. You can get pregnant even if you douche afterwards
8. You can get pregnant during the 1st time
9. You can get pregnant even if you havent had your period yet, you may be ovulating for the first time and dont know it yet.
10. You can get pregnant while on birth control, it only reduces the risks, the same as condoms
11. You can get pregnant standing up
12. You can get pregnant even if you take a bath or shower afterward
13. You can have your period, and still be pregnant
14. You do not have to have an orgasm to get pregnant
15. You can get pregnant at any time during your cycle,
16. You can get pregnant from pre-cum,
17. You can get pregnant in any position,
18. You cannot get pregnant from oral sex (some people think you can)
19. You can get pregnant even if you go pee right after sex!
20. You can get pregnant while breastfeeding, chances are only slightly lower when first beginning breast feeding then fertility soon returns. This was used as a method back in the dark ages before reliable birth control was widely available. It belongs in the same myth trashbasket that pulling out belongs in! These were only considered methods way back before more reliable methods became readily available, so like back when your grandmother's mother was young. Even then they had condoms, but many couldnt afford them. They are very affordable now and available in most mens bathrooms in most gas stations and convenience stores so there is NO excuse for not having one now days!
21. Birth control pills and other hormonal birth control methods are about 98-99% effective if taken 100% correctly. Condoms are about 70-80% effective when used correctly-they are more effective if you use a spermicide with them. Plan b is about 80% effective the first time you use it. If you use it again in the same month, that effectiveness rate can go down so it can become less effective the more often it is used when used close together. It is NOT meant to be a form of birth control. It is meant as EMERGENCY contraception-like a condom break-NOT so you can excuse yourself that it is ok to have unprotected sex now and use Plan b later. (I only use Plan b as example-it is the same for ANY emergency contraceptive so Next Choice and Ella included)
22. All women ovulate at different times of the month. New studies indicate women may even ovulate multiple times per month, so don't trust your cycle to be your birth control method.
23. Weed, mountain dew and coffee do not make you sterile, so don't listen to that bull either. If a man tells you he has had a vasectomy or that he is sterile ask for medical proof.
24. Anal sex will not make you pregnant although it can transfer std's, cause long term problems
25. Home pregnancy tests are not 100% accurate, false negative are much more common than false positives.
26. Kissing your boyfriend will not make you pregnant, neither will holding hands but these can lead to sex so you may want to have a condom available so you dont get caught up in the "heat of the moment"!! It is no excuse.
27. Stressing can make your period late, even if you are not pregnant.
28. The only way to know if you are pregnant for sure is to take a test. You can not find out by looking at your symptoms. This will only stress you out more! Test.
It doesn't matter what your story is, when you had your period, how many times you had sex, if he did or didnt ejaculate, cum (or nut-my favorite expression -girls, this one is just crass!), if you're on birth control, whether or not the condom broke, or anything. You always have a chance of being pregnant, and that's exactly what we're going to tell you. So before you post, test! You can test 4 days before your first missed period, better yet, a week after your period is late so don't ask us your chances of being pregnant, just test!! Depending on circumstances and your contraceptive method (or none), your chances to be pregnant are from 0.5-2% all the way to 85%.
Common things that can mess up your cycle:
2) starting birth control
3) stopping birth control
4) switching birth control methods
5) puberty and natural hormonal changes
6) not eating enough or dieting
7) taking hormones, steroids, or other prescription drugs
8 ) illness
The Science Bit::
*sperm can live for up to 3 to 5 days inside the female body.
*an egg is viable for up to 36 hours after ovulation.
*ovulation typically occurs 14 days before, not after, your period (regardless of cycle length).
*it is rare for the luteal (post ovulation) phase to change, a longer cycle usually means you ovulate later.
*it is impossible to know exactly when you ovulate, without being a dedicated long term charter (and this is difficult to do. The most accurate chart basal temp and cervical mucus every day for years before they are accurate and even then the body can throw you a curve). Therefore it is impossible to say exactly when you are fertile. Women can change from month to month so fertility charts are a guess at best. Online “ovulation charts” are guesstimates at best-they are NOT gospel.
*pregnancy is a risk you take any time you have sex (even on hormonal birth control because that is only, at best, 98-99% effective).
*day one of the cycle is the first day of bleeding.
*therefore your window of highest fertility is from 5 days prior to ovulation until 2-3 days after
Hope this information is helpful. Please refer back whenever you think you may be pregnant!
JUST TO ADD: If you are on birth control pills and at any time you need to take antibiotics, antibiotics can reduce the effectiveness of birth control pills so you need to use back up BARRIER protection, like condoms, for the entire time you are taking the antibiotics AND for at least 7 days after you finish them. Since antibiotics reduce the effectiveness of the Pill, you CAN become pregnant when taking antibiotics while on the Pill if you do not use a barrier back up method. I say barrier method because "pulling out" or removing the penis before ejaculation is NOT effective as a method of birth control and neither is it a back up method, also, I dont recommend the use of emergency contraceptives (Plan b, Next Choice) when you are on hormonal birth control already (birth control pills, Depo-Provera, Nuva Ring, Ortho Evra are examples of hormonal birth control methods). Plan b or other emergency contraceptives are a big blast of hormones and when you are already on hormones, this becomes a hot mess of circulating hormones in your system. It is not contraindicated to use Plan b when on oral contraceptives that I know of, BUT by taking these large doses of hormones, you are opening yourself up for major side effects from these hormones. Things like sore, tender, swollen breasts, nausea, vomiting, cramping, bloating, acne, dizziness, headaches, lack of appetite or increased appetite are all side effects of large doses of hormones found in birth control. Sounds a lot like pregnancy, doesnt it? So if you are using Plan b (or other emergency contraceptive) because of a missed pill or as "back up", it is not going to save you any stress to have delayed periods (most women experience delayed periods or irregular bleeding after using Plan b or other emergency contraceptives) along with the symptoms listed above!! You will be terrified you are pregnant so do yourself a favor and use condoms for back up when needed rather than emergency contraceptives. It is always, always better to PREVENT pregnancy than trying to fix things after the fact!
Another issue comes to mind. DO NOT tell yourself at any time that it is okay to have unprotected sex because you can just take Plan b or Next Choice, or any emergency contraceptives, after-no "heat of the moment" BS-you are in control of your body and "heat of the moment" is just another way of saying "I'm just lazy about protecting myself"!! It is always, always better to PREVENT pregnancy. Prevention is MUCH more effective than taking an emergency contraceptive after the fact! Emergency contraceptives are a great tool to use in our contraceptive arsenal available to today's woman, but they should be reserved for TRUE emergency use, meaning a slipped or broken condom, a dislodged diaphragm etc. It could be used for a missed pill, but as I say above, you are better off using condoms because the added blast of hormones is going to delay your period and make you feel pregnant because of the side effects and believe me-it will shoot your anxiety levels through the roof. If you must use emergency contraceptives, keep this in mind and expect the delay in your cycle. Women will often have a bleeding episode, like a period, after about a week after taking emergency contraceptives (but not ALL women have this bleed) and the next period due is almost always delayed or bleeding may be irregular-you may spot several times or not bleed at all for a couple of months. Every woman is very different so it is hard to say what is "normal" as all of these scenarios are normal. If you take emergency contraceptives and your period is late and it has been at least a month since your unprotected sex event, you can go ahead and test for pregnancy. If you test any sooner, it is likely too soon and it will not be accurate. If it is negative, it is likely to be the hormones delaying your cycle. Wait another month, if still no period, see your gynecologist to rule out pregnancy. DO NOT use emergency contraceptives as a contraceptive. They really shouldn't be taken very often and they do NOT "cover you for a few days"-you return to fertility quickly so if you took an emergency contraceptive one day, dont expect it to protect you the next day-it doesnt work like that. A regular, reliable method of birth control such as oral contraceptives (birth control pills or the Pill), Depo-Provera, an IUD like Mirena, or an implant like Norplant or Implanon, or Nuva Ring or Ortho Evra (the Patch) are much better for your system and MUCH more effective than emergency contraceptives. More women should look into long term birth control solutions like IUD's or implants like Implanon or Norplant. These are effective for 3-5 years depending on which method you choose and they dont require you to take a daily pill or remember anything other than the time that they need to be replaced, so what could be more convenient?
Not all methods are for everybody so be sure that you research the method(s) you are interested in then go talk to your women's healthcare professional and ask any questions and then decide, with their help, which method will work the best for you in your individual situation. We are SO blessed in the time we live in that we have so many options available to us. There is really little excuse NOT to use some method of birth control. It is readily available in so many different places, convenience stores, grocery stores, gas stations, doctors offices, family planning clinics and depending on where you go, much of it is low cost or no cost if you are a student or low income or uninsured. NO EXCUSES!!! Protect yourself and have babies when you WANT to have babies!! It is up to YOU to take control and advocate for yourself and plan your life.
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