Hi all - I am new to this group. Have been on this site for a little more than a month. Was diagnosed with PTSD at age 21. It all stems from being beaten, raped, and left for dead at age 15. The person responsible for the attack was caught after doing the same thing to another girl, but she died. I testified at the murder trial at age 17. AT age 21 I was diagnosed w/ Crohns and was sent to therapy where the assault came out. I am writing today because I have rec'd letter from Attorney Generals office that there is "movement" on the case. Since testifying 30 yrs ago the AG's office keeps in contact w/ me when the defense makes a move, as I am the only living witness. Some times yrs go by, or like this week, the dreaded letter... I promised the family of deceased girl that I would do everything I could to keep this guy behind bars, and that has made me a target for the defense. PI's have shown up at my home and work, trying to get me to "change" my outlook. Of my current 3 docs, only 1 is aware of this trauma, as I don't go around telling every one my story. Other than family and a few very close friends, most people in my life have no idea. The nightmares come and go, the "survivors guilt" hits me from time to time.For the biggest part of the last 20 yrs my way of coping is to just not live like a victim. I am a survivor. Other than showing up for meeting with the current asst AG who is handling the case, out of state, so no local knowledge is in papers where I live, I am able to keep it a secret. I know this is a lot to put out there, but, I really can't be helped unless you know. Please share with me your coping stratigies. The wound has opened up again and, by choice, the closest people in my life now don't know. And, My Mom, who worries, of course, is against me having anything to do with it at all. And I don't feel comfortable talking about it w/ dad.So, here I am, heart on my sleeve, looking for some tips, ideas, words of wisdom. Best of luck to you all!!