... on the situation I posted about a month ago. Depositions start tomorrow (Thurs) and I am already in hotel not far from court house. Someone from Attorney Generals Office will come to get me in the morning. The new defense team has a reputation for being brutal and they have already encouraged several "rally's" from pro lifers that took place on court house steps in an attempt to get public sympathy. I find I am more nervous than usual. Been here, done this, many times over the years. This criminal that has taken at least one life and tried to take mine is now very sick, or so they say. He does not want to die in prison and the whole point of these meetings is to break me down. I know this ahead of time, not afraid of them, afraid of me, afraid I won't be strong enough to go thru details of that fateful night and have them question me on every little detail. I honestly feel in my heart I am doing the right thing. The AG's office is very supportive and they always have a victims liason handy to talk to me if I need it. You all know the details from my 1st post and have to say I got such wonderful support I felt I could do anything. Now that it is only hours away, I am filled with self doubt. Have not changed my mind about what is right and wrong, but, have felt bad for several days before coming here, and really feel inadequate, not the strong person I have usually talked my self into. They feed on fear, know which questions tear me up and which ones that make me tell details that turn my stomach inside out. Part of their ""game". We have 2 days crammed full of this stuff. They asked for 3, but, I knew I wouldn't hold up that long, so here I am, unable to sleep. For those of you that read my 1st post and the following comments and responses, I ask that some how you send a prayer my way, or well wishes, anything to help get me thru this. Won't have much time for computer, but, will return home on Sat. D day is here for me, again, and I pray I can withstand all the questioning. Will check in Sat when I get home. I am simply asking, once again, for your support, your ideas, suggestions, ANYTHING you want to share. I need to know, that in the eyes of the majority, I am doing the right thing. Many thanks for all who care enough to read this, and many blessings to all who have endured, as I have. I am asking, in advance, for anyone to reach out to me after Sat to chat, share, vent, whatever. I most certainly will need you then. Be well, my friends, my DC family...
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - Dear DC family and friends = this is not a question, but, an update
- 5 Sep 2013 by Anonymous
- 8 Sep 2013
Time to make it happen. What you endured is far more than what the perpetrator is going through. It is fine to show compassion and fine to tell the fear. I know you will be able to get through this and will see that justice is served. Never forget the others who would suffer from him. You will be fine. I have done this too. Not as involved as you, but I have done this.
My prayers and wishes for your strength will flow to you. Those who watch you will stand by your side. I applaud you for this inner strength of yours and know you will be better for it. So will the others not yet harmed. You are becoming a guiding light for the benefit of others. There is no greater act we can do in this life. Remember all who love you. We await your strength to shine. Karen
Sorry that I missed your previous posting which I just found and read. You should look back at all of those who told you that you were a hero. Yes, you are doing the right thing. But I am so sorry that you will have to relive it again by testifying. But know that this is your retribution against this monster who should never get out. Do you have to act so strong and to not get upset by retelling the details? What is wrong with you being fearful? It would seem that you getting upset would only show how affected that you were by this terrible person. The defense is just doing their job which will only make them look terrible by putting you through all this. You will get through this because you know in your heart that it is the right thing to do. I am praying for you and hope that you will feel so much better afterwards, knowing that you went up against this monster. You have tremendous strength by even being willing to try to testify. You are saving others from this monster.
You are speaking for the one who didn't make it and cannot testify. And you are testifying for yourself. Again, you have my heartfelt prayers.
I had no idea of your past. Deep in your heart you know that you are doing the right thing all you need is support and courage to see it through to the ultimate conclusion. Through the power of payer and support I know and you know that you can do this. It is not going to be easy as you know, just be your self. if you are feeling fearful then this is normal,if you are worried this is also normal. We both know that you have the strength of character. Your belief and our prayers will get you through this difficult time. You are one courageous lady.
Thinking of you and praying for you.
Your friend EG
I know, from our conversations, how all of this is effecting you physically and mentally and pray you will find the strength to bring you through this time.
You know what you are doing is the right thing to do for yourself as well as the family of the life he took. My prayer is that God will bring you the peace you need to complete His task. Looking forward to hearing from you on
Saturday. We are all her to support you. Judy
Wishing you nothing but the best outcome in your upcoming situation..tried sending pm they r not being sent am ready to write and find out why... never the less just want u to no I will be there in spirit as we both have something so so simular in common... wrote u like 9 pm never got sent to u obviously and now I need to find out why..didn't put anything inhumane in them... good luck and let me no when u r back... angel
My dearest CK,
You are our beacon of hope that justice will continue to prevail! I know that is a daunting responsibility to put on you. I have told you many times before that you ARE my hero. Every time you testify, you are giving a voice to the girl he killed, as well as any unknown past or future victims of this monster. Any one of us could become his next victim should he be released from prison. Who gives a flip if he's sick and doesn't want to die in prison!!! BooHoo! He should have thought of that before he committed these heinous acts. HE DESERVES NO SYMPATHY, LENIENCY, OR CONCERN. He did not give any of his victims a choice. CK, you are an amazingly strong woman. Many of us would be in a perpetual tailspin to have to relive this tragedy. You have done that time and time again. I am in awe of your determination to make sure this man never sees freedom. I am grateful to you for showing us your unselfish conviction to protect us all. You put the needs of the many ahead of the needs of the one (Wise words from Spock!) As you can see from all of the other posts, the DC family is in your corner and we will be here to help you put the pieces back together when this nightmare ends. We've got your back, CK, now and whenever you need us. My prayers, support and love are with you.
I still ahve been trying to add you as a friend and I'm here if you'd like to talk. Keep your head clear and focus on the main goal. You're stronger than you think and will do great things. If there are any questions I might be able to help out with and or you need to vent or want someone to talk to please let me know. You have a very strong support group here for you and we will continue to be here.. The internet has a funny way of making people feel better even though you;ve never met them. I sincerly mean that I'm here for you if you need anything. You've got this! Stay strong and keep your focus and things will work out in your favor.
BE SAFE! We'll be here for ya! :)
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