... disassociation and severe PTSD due to childhood events. I was just diagnosed with PTSD 5 years ago (although I'd long suspected it) with a wonderful therapist, besides medication I've done EMDR(no noticeable improvement) and regression therapy. For many years I apparently "wake up" after I fall asleep. I appear to be "me" (no schizophrenia) yet I'm a terrible, cruel person. I then lay back down "wake up" and have absolutely NO memory of it. Its almost caused a divorce, its not a medication issue nor is there a noticeable "trigger". Has anyone experienced anything like this? I've also become aware that I have night terrors about 2-4x a week and am completely shocked (yet it makes so much sense! Finally!) Can anyone relate, offer advice, anything?
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - 34yr female. I've suffered with Bi-polar, OCD, Depression, severe?
- 16 Jun 2013 by annapants
- 16 June 2013
- depression, post traumatic stress disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, medication, female, disorder
Added 16 Jun 2013:
I forgot to mention that I've been through just about every medication for sleep with no positive/negative effect on these nocturnal issues. Currently I take 150mg of trazadone, 10mg of ambien as needed and xanax as needed.
I do not think anyone knows why these things happen to those of us who suffer from PTSD. I suffer from PTSD and have night terrors/nocturnal anxiety. I have yet to find any med that gives me more than 4-5 hrs sleep. I wake up with no memory of the terror and nothing that I know that triggered it. But all the symptoms are there. Flashes of heat,sweating, heart pounding, tense and filled with dread and anxiety. I can go back to sleep but only for a few hours so I never get a full 7-8 hours of sleep. Some of us wake up. Sounds like you do not wake. Children do this with night mares and keep sleeping. They also can sleep walk and talk.
I also had EMDR. It helped me in some ways but has done nothing to help my anxiety/fears, night terrors/nocturnal anxiety.
I believe that generally most people with PTSD have some sort of sleep disorder. You may be lucky that you have no memory of it and continue to sleep.
I think you are asking questions that modern science and medicine still have no answers for. PTSD has a wide range of symptoms and then you add dual diagnosis and modern pharmacuticals into the mix and it can become a guessing game.
Maybe a psychiatrist would be able to help you if you have not already seen one??
I hope you can find answers. You will find a lot of kind supportive caring people on this site.
My thoughts are with you my.
Janiebme is right. I don't think they really understand PTSD or any of the others.
I suffer from PTSD but mine tends to be worse in the daytime. I don't sleep deep or long enough to dream so maybe that is why. I have had Chronic Insomnia all my life and that has only gotten worse as I have gotten older. I will be 52 this month and have yet to find a med that will allow me to really sleep.
I can imagine how confusing it was for your spouse when you "woke up" and were not really you. Apparently I did something similar for awhile when I was younger but it stopped happening once I stopped going into a deep sleep. I would sit up in bed and have full conversations with which ever family member was around and not remember a thing the next day.
Recently a med I tried had me getting up in the night and eating. I would find the mess in the morning and I could tell it was me and not my hubbie by what was on the counter.
My hubbie sleepwalks and turns on every light in the house so I get to see it from the other side now too. He gets agitated if you try to talk to him.
I can't really offer any advice, only my support and to let you know that you are not alone.
I can relate, I use to dissociate with flashbacks. at times now, if I am very stressed and have high anxiety I blackout. I don't remember. Especially around certain dates and other triggers. I have no one to talk to that understands at the moment. I hold a lot in. I blocked out do to stress this past December. I had a bad fight with my mother who I moved back with in September... she kicked me out, and said she"never wanted to see me again she hated me" still in a daze I drove off with two bags of clothes woke up in my car at the river state troopers knocking on my Window... then, blacked out woke up 2da us later in ICU I Over Dosed... I spend two months in 3 different hospitals one medical 2 mental. My Mother took me back but was living in my car most the winter... my PTSD was very bad in my teens I have gotten help I do have body memories at times... I don't have the nightmares every night.
But, stress triggers something since, September that I began blacking out... I am back in the town as well as the house everything has happened... but, I was here before I moved. I dont know... I have been having panic attacks recently again getting off two meds.
I know what can help is dbt treatment... There are also two places inpatient that specializes in PTSD. ONE IS IN MD, CALLED SHEPARD PRATT. THE OTHER IS IN MASS. McCLAN/McCLEAN... those two take ins. Others I have looked into before don't take much...
I'm here if you need to chat message me only have my phone :o)
Take care, hope you feel better soon! your are NOT alone!
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