knew he used marijuana and took pills on an occasional basis (so I thought). After taking the relationship further and moving in together I have discovered he is not an occasional user but an addict. Prior to us being together he had a severe cocaine addition that he conquered on his own. He was clean for several years (from the cocaine). About a year ago I caught him in our kitchen snorting cocaine. I was devastated. I kicked him out for almost a month. He managed to sweet talk his way back into our home and from there it has been a steady downfall. I do not think he is using cocaine but what I do know is he is addicted to pills. What pills I am not exactly sure, it is either percocets or oxycontin. Either way I am concerned. When confronted about it he get very defensive. He will NOT admit anything. Yet I have seen text messages to and from random people (that he has disguised in his phone as brothers) asking about "bigs" and random numbers. He will often say he is going somewhere but I will find out he doesn't go where he say. I have noticed his pupils to be rather small, and in the evening he often nods off or his eyes look very heavy. Sometimes he will say "I use to have a problem" or "I slip up sometimes" but I ask him about it on an occasional basis and he always denies using. Our sex life has diminished, it almost seems like he has no sex drive. When we do have sex if he is under the influence of a pill I can often tell because the sessions will usually end because we get tired because he will just go forever. When not under the influence the time is no where near as long. He often calls me names and says I am crazy when I question him about it. He lies all the time, and he says he can conquer his own problems. Tonight he went to the bathroom and I heard what sounded like a credit card on the kitchen sink, as if he was breaking up the pill to snort. When questioned he completely went off on me and said he can't stand me anymore. I know I am not overreacting. This drug addiction is ruining our relationship and I do not know how to get him to admit his problem? Do I continue going on every day just hoping one day he will see the problem, or should I just leave? I love him dearly. If you have any insight on what pills he may be using or how I should handle this please help! Thank you.
If he is nodding out, it sounds as if he is using some type of opiates, like oxycodone, or OxyContin. OxyContin can no longer be snorted though. Crushing them makes them useless for abusers. He also may be abusing benzodiazapines, like Valium or Xanax.
I hope he can admit his problem and get help. If not, you may end up one unhappy girl. Does his family know about this?
Have you checked his arms for track marks? It is an idea, just in case he is shooting heroin or oxy's.
Best wishes to you, and do NOT let this man tell you that you are crazy!!!
Your husband has a problem and you are going to have to face the facts, unfortunately, and to put it bluntly. You remind me of my previous marriage to a cocaine addict. He wouldn't get help and continued to use after several interventions so I decided he had to leave my daughter and I. I couldn't take the chance of his drug abuse landing us all in jail or child foster care.
I had to take a stand and do what was right for my family and myself. I recommend you get some support like you will find in Narcotics Anonymous or Alanon. Can you find the phone numbers in the phone book or call directory assistance for Alcoholic Anonymous and someone at AA can help you find a meeting. Are you fimilar with any of these groups?
I have to warn you that cocaine addiction is tricky. The addict becomes a very good con artist and will convince you that they can stop, only to use again down the road. You don't deserve the abuse you are enduring. Get help and keep posting on this site. This is a great group of supportive people.
Please feel free to contact me after we have friended eachother, then we can talk in private if you wish,
You are definitely right on your assumptions. Everything you described is the exact way ppl get when taking opiates. What you describe is exactly what my parents described when they first found out I was using oxy. They notices all the same symptoms and Id say and do the same things to hide it from them. Its a very very difficult thing to control and its really hard when you have to hide it from him. Unfortunately it sounds like he is in the same position I was in and hes too far in for you to try to control him. You need to tell him that you want to help but that you arent mad about it. If you get upset with him, it wont help him stop, it will only put a wall between the two of you. This isnt a drug where someone else can stop you from doing it by telling you to or getting mad about it. It controls your life so much that you will do whatever it takes and hide it if you have to.
The only thing you can do is to try to support him and help him beat the addiction but you have to do it in a helping way, not in a mad or upset attitude towards him. I know its very hard but I can tell you from experience that its the only way. An opiate addict will not stop until they are ready, someone telling them to will not make any difference, it will only make them upset with you or avoid contact with you.
Oh and the sex part is right on for an opiate addiction. When I was using, Id take hours to finish and when I wasnt it would be way faster. Also it extremely lowered my sex drive. It wasnt that I was any less turned on or anything its just I had no drive to want it. Its not because of anything you have done or didnt do, its just the drugs. Good luck, I hope you can help him beat the addiction and keep your communication open about it with him. He needs your support in order to beat it.
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