I don't get it. I just spent a wonderful day celebrating with family and friends, couldn't have been better. Now I'm alone and feeling sorry for myself. I just want to put an end to my life on such a perfect note. Life seems so difficult sometimes, always a struggle especially when you have a mental illness. Of course I take my medication and have for years, go to therapy every week, but I stil have this lingering desire to end it all. I feel like I won't be able to handle what may come my way. I've been fairly stable for 6 years so why don't I trust myself to be ok and be able to manage my life on life's terms?

Thank you for being here and hope you all had a wonderful day. Merry Christmas to all who believe.