... site has really helped me stay focused during those long painful days. just to update though i am sleeping really well (i was on between 20 to 25 perks a day for the lasts year or more). after day 4 around day 5 the pain subsided in my back and legs. my sleep was went back to normal without taking anything ater day 8. depression then hit really hard for about 5 or 6 days and though im sure there is a long long road i just want to tell those that are just beginning that this is all stages that i think we go threw but it can be done. 2 days ago i went to the gym and did aquafitness and then went out all day yesterday - shows me that some of the sadness is lifting as well now. what i did htis time that seemed to make it more doable for me was i allowed myself to feel these things instead of fighting it. i allowed myself to feel pain , sore. i then allowed myself not to sleep with out driving myself nuts thinking it won't end. when the sadness hit i allowed myself to be sad - i dont know if this makes any sense but i hope that maybe it gives just one person hope. the same kind of hope that i read from people on here just 2 weeks ago. i am off for life this time. im nearly 40 years old and i will have a life beyond my addiction if it takes me everything i have within me to get it. god bless all of us who try