... leakage daily. Once he went to college it became impossible to continue while living in a dorm. Once he stopped that was the end. Now when we visit him we notice him struggling with bathroom issues and he smells. I know what the problem is I would like some help in how to go about addressing this very personal, sensitive issue. He is married, successful and takes good care of himself. He also has to catheterize several times a day because he no longer has a bladder. Please help if you can. And telling me to buck up and just tell him is the obvious. I truly would like to do this as best I can. This man has been through way too much for me to do this indelicately
I am a parent of an adult child born with imperforate anus. He did daily enamas to control stool?
- 5 Jan 2014 by Burdened
- 5 January 2014
- imperforate anus
Wow. That's really a dilemma for you. Can you talk to his wife? What about asking him if you can do anything to help? Is he a very private person? I know my son would not appreciate me saying anything. Is he depressed? I'm just trying to figure out why someone would accept that for themselves. Sorry I can't be more help.
Wow... Very sensitive issue. It's hard to believe his wife has not noticed this.But if it was my friend, I would try to pass a hint to his wife somehow indirectly and if she didn't pick up on it and it bothers you that much, it would probably bother others as well. If that didn't work, I would be more direct with his wife first and mention something like when another person was around you, his wife and your buddy,I would go back to her and say that this other person (preferably someone they don't know or a distant acquaintance) had mentioned that he's a nice guy but has a bad odor and you noticed it as well. Explain to her that you are his best buddy and you are only telling her that because you love and care about him and you felt it was only fair that you should mention it to her to tell him. And if I were in his shoes I would expect him as a friend to tell me. And if she doesn't want to tell him, you should and use that same approach. How about this... It's like if you had a booger on your nose, wouldn't you want your buddy to tell you about it? Instead of you walking around talking to people staring at your nose and laughing behind your back? I don't know if that has ever happened to you but has actually happened to me and I sincerely thanked my friend for telling me. Like your zipper being down. Doesn't someone usually tell you about it and you tell them when theirs is down? I know I do. That would be the only way I could think of telling him without any repercussions. If you do, well maybe he isn't the friend you thought he was. Though, I really feel for people with problems such as that and hope the best for them. Man, I hope I never have to deal with something of that nature. I'm glad he has a wife because he probably needs her and she must love him with a condition such as his. But you never know what will be as we age. So, will you please post what the result was and how he took it? Good Luck... Paul (etechmaster)
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