... amount of time without feeling the need to take medication?
I'm managing to cope reasonably well.
for example I often worry when I have to see my GP... I have this fear of walking into a crowded room.
I think a big part of the problem is caused by me being too self conscious.
and so I start to feel dizzy and anxious
and by the time I reach the receptionist's desk I'm often so nervous I can hardly speak let alone hold my head up.
Ive been like this for a very long time.
I managed to face it today without taking my medication although I felt nervous as usual.
but I feel sure that I'll never completely overcome my mindset,phobia,and self consciousness and shyness
which has caused me no end of problems.
I constantly tremble even when I'm at home.
and it has got to the point where I avoid switching on the light in my bathroom so I can't see my face in the mirror
because my head constantly nods back and forwards although thankfully its not that noticeable.
but I have to use much willpower to control the trembling especially when I'm out side.
this affects my self esteem
although it has always been low from what I can recall.
I still don't know what is wrong with me after years of seeing doctors and psychiatrists.
my mum thinks it may be due to the way my dad treated me when I was growing up?
I suffered years of violent beatings from my dad
and eventually I resorted to running away from home to avoid more beatings.
now my dad is elderly and bed bound and unable to help himself
I still can't face him and still feel uncomfortable in his presence.
and as usual I'm always nervous and within seconds I feel jumpy and need to get away.
even if I stood in front of you and had a conversation I'd be trembling.
it really is that bad and uncontrollable.
I sometimes wonder how I ever managed to cope all these years with a condition like this?
can anyone relate to my problems?
if so how do you manage to cope?
I want to be able to live without having to lean or depend on medication
but I know that cause my problem is long term and 24/7
I don't think I'll ever achieve my dream?
but I shouldn't give up hope I guess