I am 53 years old, I have took valium for almost 20 years for this mess. I was in a abusive 1st marriage, a boy & girl now 32 & 29,and doing great for themselves. & even after leaving the 16 yr marriage the abuse continued mostly verbally. I did re-marry to a wonderful man a year later. But at work I was so hateful and mean to people, I went to the Dr. to tell him my actions. That's when he put me on valium. My co-workers told me later that when I got to work, they could tell by LOOKING at me what kind of mood I was in, and knew when NOT to talk to me, only AFTER I started the valium. (I'm shaking right now) !! My son was 11 when I re-married & stayed with my his dad, my daughter who was older stayed with me, both were in on getting beat also, so they knew. I sent my daughter through school, my ex went to jail for awhile for drugs, I worked full time, had for years, And took my son in who was helping his daddy at 13-16 yrs old. At 17 he got a girl pregnant. I had to take care of that. I need to back up. A year b4that, in 2003 I had cervical cancer, had a radical hysterectomy which went ok, they took everything & more after a couple yrs. ignoring my body & taking care of my ailing father. I came home on a Fri., & was called that Sunday to hear he had had a massive heart attack & I had to tell them to unplug my daddy, (no mom since 7yrs.old). I traveled 60 miles 1 way to make arrangements, my now husband had to carry me like a baby to the car, then back again to funeral, I NEVER had help EVER !! All this time the valium were saving me. I didn't mention that in 2001 I lost my brother at the age of 39 , he drank his self to death, & YES I took care of him. This is not half, so I will get to the point. My Dr. I have now is taking me off of valium. I have begged & pleaded. He wont let you talk, gives me stuff I DO NOT TAKE, I just need my valium !!! My children say I'm OCD, & I do want things done my way or nothing !! Since, I have been a wreck, I can't think straight, the mood is back, worst of all, "MIGRAINS" !! And Bad ones. Where I live is a small town, and druggies all around, so Dr's wont give you what you need for all my aches & pains unless you go to a pain clinic, and now he is telling me he is Not suppose to write valium, if he does, he needs a letter from a psychiatrist, no counselor. I have went from a size 10 to a 4 !! ( YEA its right) don't eat, sleep, I don't socialize with friends anymore. I start something, go to another all the time. I have tried it all over the years. Zoloft, Paxil, Buspar, which when I took it couldn't walk straight, and many more. I don't like any more than any one else, but I CANNOT DO THIS !!! Xanax will help, but he is taking me off & I cant afford a psychiatrist, I can barely see him. I lost my baby brother the same way as the 1st in 08, My husband is a diabetic with bad circulation, He has had 3 operations from his groin to below the knee to replace veins & arteries, plus 3 more for stints and a bypass. I took 3 blue #10's for 18 years, Now I get 1 yellow #5 a day. I go several days without so I can have 1 good day, but taking a big chance on a Migraine. So there you go. I NEED HELP... I NEED HELP. I have never done nothing more than a speeding ticket & going back, my son had 2 boys which I have raised because the LEFT !!! Somebody say something. This has took me 2 hours to type !!!
I understand your frustration. It is very unfortunate that your doctor will not write scripts for benzodiazapines like Valium and Xanax. It is because they are a controlled substance which can be addictive. You might want to save up the money for a psychiatrist or go to your county's mental health facility. In the meantime, try some natural supplements like valerian root and practice some form of meditation when life gets to be too much. I know it sounds like a band aid for a gaping wound, but you've got to hold on. You can sort this out and reduce your anxiety.
You were on 30mg of diazepam a day and your Dr cut you down to 5mg/day? Ouch... I have never felt this with diazepam (Valium) but I have with alprazolam (Xanax).
Find the closest psychiatric hospital and tell them everything you just typed.
Though it is highly unethical and in some cases illegal for a physician to cause a cessation disorder I'm not sure if this case qualifies though every state is different.
- Valium Information for Consumers
- Valium Information for Healthcare Professionals (includes dosage details)
- Side Effects of Valium (detailed)
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