Okay friends..I'd like to ask you all sum advice. As you may or may not know... I had issues with painkillers awhile back... I have a medical condition that causes me severe pain at times..and drs kept prescribing them left and right..so I ultimately got addicted to them. Well I decided that I didn't want to rely on them anymore... and decided to stop taking them completely. Being that I took them for 5 years..my family doctor recommended me going to a suboxone doctor, which I did. Well long story short..my condition worsened... and my doctor wanted to manage the pain with Vicodin again, my suboxone doctor said that was fine, and told me to go get treated and put me on a little 30 day suspension thingy so that way I wouldn't loose my place and have to go back thru the waiting list shit again... they'd be able to put me back to the top of the list and not have to wait very long... cuz those places take months to get into. Well my family doctor got me into a pain management doctor, and I seen him for the first time last month, and he wrote me a script of Vicodin, and wants to see me as a regular patient now... but my suboxone doctor got me back in, and I have an appointment tomorrow... so my dilemma is... do I stick with the pain management doctor, and take the pills as prescribed in case my condition gets bad again? Or do I go back to the suboxone doctor tomorrow and try and steer clear of having to rely on painkillers on a daily basis. My heart is telling me to go to the suboxone doctor..cuz I'm honestly sick to death of having to rely on a stupid pill to make me feel better, and feeling shitty when I don't have any. The only downfall of this decision, is if I do go back tomorrow, I will never be able to get into a pain doctor again, which could suck down the road if my condition got really bad. No pain doctor would see me because of how many prescriptions I had had from emergency room doctors, and my own doctor, and I was truthfully lucky as hell this one took me... so if I leave, I'm prolly definitely fucked outta ever going to a pain doctor again. I guess I'm just worried cuz I know how bad my disease can potentially get..and the thought of being in that much pain again, which no option to even take a pain pill for relief..scares me to death. But I've had to rely on pain pills for 5 years..and I got really badly addicted to them, and I don't want to ever go down that road again either... so my heart is telling me to stick with this suboxone doctor, and steer clear of pain docs and pain pills completely..but I would like as much advice from you... my friends..as possible. I know a lot of people who know or have struggled themselves with opiate addiction, and a lot of you know where I'm coming from..so any type of advice/support, would be greatly appreciated..thanks a lot! :)
-Amy-