... anyone else feels embarrassed to go out with my oxygen. I feel like I'll never met anyone that wants Relationship because of my oxygen. Am I alone in my thoughts and feelings? Would love to hear from others how they are going. I just feel so depressed and lonesome
I don't use oxygen, but sometimes I use a cane when I'm out. At first I wondered what others will think because I don't look like something is wrong with me, then I decided it beat sitting on my butt in the grocery store parking lot. I'm alone too and 66, and I've gotten to the point if a man can't accept me the way I am, oh well, I don't need him. Look around, men our age aren't in such wonderful shape either, most have no room to criticize. I had a man who accepted me as I am, and had empathy for me. I got spoiled and I can't settle for less since he died. So use your oxygen, and don't worry what others may think. Usually what we imagine they're thinking isn't close to what they really are thinking. Anyone worth anything will accept you as you are.
I would just like to tell you my opinion of what you r saying... first off I am not on oxygen nor walk with a cane life km etc... with that being said, why would you feel embarrassed, this is helping your life..I realize some people can just be down right inhumane and stare etc... all I want to say to you is not everyone is an ass... sorry for the slang, but you will meet someone one day with a heart..your oxygen machine or however it's set up don't define you..so you need to get that in your head #1... #2 and lastly for those who thing there to good for you because you r using something to help your health, then the hell with them for they ain't worth your time or heart anyway..so don't be embarrassed you I am sure are a beautiful caring person, don't let the ignorance of the world make you feel less then for you r not..get your butt out there and one day MR. RIGHT will come along... I will keep u in my prayers for God to lift your feelings of embarrassesment for there is nothing to be embarrassed about..keep that in your head always..that doesn't define your outer nor inner beauty and heart... I will add u as a friend if you would ever like to talk you can private message me... keep your head held high and don't let ignorant people make u feel uncomfortable... not EVER...
Hello. I am 63 and on oxygen through most of past 8 years. did have a couple years off. I have ILD and a progressive muscle disease. I am fortunate that my husband and I remain together and have adjusted to my condition. However, I know what you mean about the stares and such. I use a wheel chair when out and about with the oxygen and a cane in case I have to get up . We take almost as much with us as we did when our daughter was a baby.((lol)) I don't look as though I need a wheelchair. I am not too heavy or have a cast on me. So when I get those stares or nasty looks I remember that these people are ignorant of my condition and haven't learned to give compassion freely. That is sad for them... but it wasn't about me, it is only about them. I have been stepped upon. Knocked into with purses and packages in the head. What can you do? Not much. People who do that are just bullies. They are scared of what is represented.
Life is much easier if we forget we could be that person... " there but by the grace of god go I." So smile and be proud of yourself that you are doing the fight.
By 60 we know who we are, what we believe and where life has taken us. We know what has been learned, share what we know. It helps to build some self confidence. If one appears active, healthy and remember to do that smile, the looks disappear and more smiles are given. And please don't forget that with illness comes depression, limited choices, less opportunities. Depression appears and makes us feel like those stares are knives cutting through us. That is in our minds, not what is happening. Learn to see them as injured, uninformed, and life will make more sense. Don't we all do that at some point of life? Then we learn. You may well be the gift to them for learning. Pain is a choice not an outcome if we choose properly. I stared at my great-grandmother when she was very ill at age 98. I loved her. she understood the stare and held out her arms. Always an opportunity to learn even at 8.
And once that smile is there and you run into some guy and smile with confidence, you will find what you want for that special relationship. And by the way, check out AARP which has a dating site. My brother in law just found someone and married at age 59. Karen
Hi Mary. I am 54 years old and have been on oxygen 24/7 for three years. I'm on pulse 2 or 3 liters when out and about and continuous flow at home. I ride a bike about once a week (just 2-3 miles) and just got back from trip to Rome (with a LOT of walking:)
While my situation is somewhat different from yours - in that my husband of 30 years is extremely supportive - I think I understand what you're going through. It took me about one year to get to a place where I no longer care what others might be thinking. The first year, I frequently picked up a vibe, particularly from women my age, that seemed judgmental. My friends and family thought I was crazy, but it only took one time for a friend to actually see the look, and she understood. Several people asked me some version of, "How long did you smoke?" I always just smiled and said, "I never smoked. Why do you ask?" That would usually catch them off guard, because they seemed to assume that I had been a smoker and "deserved" to be on oxygen. Frankly, I spent that first year pissed off at the world and probably feeling a little sorry for myself.
But after that period of feeling very self-conscious and letting that feeling get in the way of what I allowed myself to accomplish, things changed. I made a conscious decision to carry the oxygen in my backpack, not think about it, and go about my business with a smile. I do volunteer work, I run errands, go out to dinner with family and friends, and just live life. When I go to the gym no one mentions my oxygen.
My advice, for what it's worth, is to walk with purpose, carry yourself with confidence, look up and smile, and don't take any crap from anyone. We tried to teach our kids growing up that they shouldn't judge anyone without knowing that person story. And that's how I feel about myself. Strangers have no idea why I am on oxygen, and they have no business judging me.
I really believe if you present yourself with confidence that others perceive you differently. That can do nothing but help in your relationships with everyone.
I was concerned about going overseas. Not only the logistics, but the culture. I just didn't know what to expect from the people. That was wasted worrying on my part. First of all, I did not see one other person on oxygen from the time I left home until I got back home. That really surprised me. All the relevant brochures and ads on TV show smiling people carrying their oxygen and doing all sorts of activities. But I can tell you they aren't going to Rome! I was a little self-conscious the first day, and I did notice that a lot of people looked at me quizzically, but there was no judgment. People were sometimes overly solicitous, and a few too many people told me how "brave" I was (which makes me crazy!).
Regarding relationships, I can't imagine how difficult it must be to try to strike up an intimate relationship. All I can tell you is that while my husband is wonderful, the oxygen has unfortunately made a difference in our intimacy. That sucks. It's just something we try to work on.
I wish you the best of luck. If you'd like to chat off-line, I'd be very interested to hear from you. My name is Robin.
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