... was taking 50 mcg transmodermal patch. It didn't seem to be working and was just upped from 25 mcg two weeks prior. I was put on fentanyl because of the side effects of kadian (morphine). I was constantly vomitting and could not get my bowels under control though it worked great for the pain. I have been on fentanyl 50 mcg for a month. I don't like it. I sleep ALL the time and within 4 hours of forgetting to change a patch, I would start getting the shakes.

My husband called his mother whom works in a crisis center a few counties away and she told him that I needed to go off of it cold turkey and there is NO other way.

I know she's not a medical doctor, but my pain clinic doctor refuses to see me or talk to me. I'm very upset over this and am in the process of being referred to a new pain clinic for a new doctor, but that takes time.

I put myself in the hands of my husband and he has had me under house arrest for 5 days now. I really appreciate him being here for me but he has no idea what I'm going through and is treating me like a child.

The first day really only consisted of mild shakes and nausia. The next three days all I can remember is constantly rocking and my limbs flailing out of control, sweating profusely and screaming. I slept a whole 20 minutes throughout those 3 days. I thought I was through it. I don't have the shakes or the jerking vision, but my shoulders ache (and they aren't the problem), the pain in my back is returning (which is the problem), and I can't sleep! My body is exhausted but my brain won't shut off!

Now, my husband got me cough syrup, sleepytime tea, tylenol PM and a multivitamin. I've been drinking nothing but uncaffinated tea and water, no sugar. I've barely been eating. After the first day, I couldn't stop screaming and crying so my husband gave in and managed to find me some dope (though it's not been used in our home in over 10 years). It helped a little, but just enough to have me staring off into the distance.

I haven't smoked in 11 years and I smoked two joints on day 4 to try to get to sleep. Now, I don't know if it's the withdrawal symptoms or me, but the pot actually WOKE me up! Sure, it numbed some of my pain, but I was more awake than ever!

Last night my husband fell asleep and I snuck off and found my bottle of Xanax. It's perscribed to me to take as needed for anxiety attacks. I took my normal dosage for an anxiety attack and I FINALLY SLEPT for 7 hours! But now I feel incredibly guilty!

My shrink has me on Xanax, Cymbalta and Celexa. I quit taking the Cymbalta months ago. I use the Xanax maybe once a month if needed and take Celexa 3 times a day. I just started retaking my celexa yesterday.

I've been reading the threads and there are mixed results on Xanax being a help or a hinder. Granted, I didn't smoke any pot yesterday, I took the Xanax instead and slept great, but I still feel the same today as I did yesterday before I took it.

I know the methadone program takes 21 days. I have chronic pain which means eventually I'm going to have to find some kind of medication I can take on a long term regimen.

I am on the outs with my doctor. I think she put me on Fentanyl because she thought I was going to magically get better with all the crap she's put me through. I have always done as she instructed, as she instructed, even if I didn't agree, but now that she's shut me out, I'm very angry!

Until I get my new doctor, I'm going to have to just suffer with the constant pain, which I could do before I got to this quack, but it's been over 2 years. I'm afraid to take anything without talking to a doctor first... I started on valium and vicodin, then moved up to oxycodone and valium and then morphine and now fentanyl.

Please, somebody tell me how long this constant rocking and aching is going to last... and how restless am I going to become? I can't remember ever being so AWAKE in my life!