I'm a 20 year old male, weigh 140lbs (skinny but not quite unhealthy looking), I'm pretty conscious about what I eat (so due to the characteristics of American foods... I end up not eating a lot). I'm in really good health, actually, which is why I should probably also quit my other two addictions, nicotine and caffeine, while I'm still ahead, right? Turns out, now I have an even bigger problem...
I started out eating Loricet 10's -- loved those. Loved the confidence boost, the warmth, security, all of that. I tried Percocet once or twice during this time period as well. For a while, it was just every couple of days that I would eat these. Then, I was introduced to Roxicet 30mg. That was the first pill I ever snorted. I only snorted like... 1/4 of it, and 1/4 would become my usual "dosage" of any pill LESS THAN 60mg (15mgs per dose).
The problem really started when I was finally introduced to OC 80. I would divide those into 1/6s, which became my usual dosage every time I used those. I started out just doing it once a day, then it quickly became twice, and sometimes eventually I would even do as many as three or possibly even four (maybe not four... if I ever did, it was just one occasion). I was like that for about a week, then I went away on vacation and I was fine... no withdrawals or anything like that. When I came back, I immediately started using OC's again (primarily) OR I would eat the occasional pill as well (10 mgs). Once or twice I even snorted the Roxicet again (in the same dosages mentioned above: 7.5mg each). I got opiates, somehow, someway, basically.
I allowed this to go on for about 35 days, which includes today (and is ongoing). The person I used with is a very good friend of mine, who HAD a more serious drug problem in the past -- went through withdrawal and all of that -- but has since recovered and now just uses "recreationally" .. but he insists he can control it and "doesn't want to go down that route again". He's the one who advised that I never do any more than those small dosages at a time to begin with. At any rate, he told me if I ever did get addicted I could use some of his Suboxone (which he had prescribed to him) and after a couple of days -- poof! -- I'd be fine again. Wrong. I also would like to say this: I honestly don't blame him for "getting me into this" because, a) OC is not a joke. I don't think he even realizes that he is a functioning addict who just happens to not need a lot to get by, so he thinks he's "fine". He can't control it, he uses everyday (IMO) and his mood is completely different when he hasn't. More importantly though, I don't blame him because b) it was always my choice to begin with, and my responsibility for not heeding everything I've heard about opiates up until now. Oh well, curiosity always has killed the cat I suppose...
He gave me 1/2 an 8mg Suboxone about 2 weeks ago (three weeks into using) just in case I needed it, cause I told him I wanted to stop. He said the Suboxone ISN'T addictive, and it just prevents you from getting withdrawal while you detox. I had read all over the Internet the exact opposite, so I didn't exactly believe him, but I took it anyway. I did 1/3 of it. Since then, I've only received another 1/2 of Suboxone. Between those and using OC, I got through the last 2 weeks up until now. When I do Suboxone, it's literally only like ... tiny, tiny pieces -- almost shavings. I'm having problems taking it because it crumbles actually. That's how small my doses are.
For the past few days I've been using around the same SMALL amount of Suboxone, and I can go without it 20-24 hours EASY... When it gets to about 27 hours though, I guess that's the beginning of the psychological phases because it feels SO much like going through nicotine withdrawal (I've quit smoking twice now, so I feel pretty confident making that comparison).
That leaves me where I'm at right now. I have NOT done OC in like a Week, although I've asked for them every day ... just seeing if he has any. He says he doesn't, although I think he's lying to me because he knows I want to quit. The cravings for Opiates are much less severe a day after Suboxone than a day after OC, so it's better that I don't get them anyway. It's been like 5-7 days since I've used OC I think.
I just took a small dose of Suboxone (I tried going really small this time, I used a razor blade to shave off a wall of the other half) although the nicotine-withdrawal-like feeling still lingers after such a small dose. In the past few days, my dosages (which were larger, but still pretty small) would alleviate similar feelings.
My question is this, should I just try to stick it out for a little bit while my body detoxes some... maybe try to get some sleep?? ... then take a maybe slightly bigger piece in the morning, withdraw a little more tomorrow night while I sleep, while gradually tapering every 4 days from there? How does tapering really work, especially for someone who really hasn't even used that much? I am going to try to find 2mg Suboxones so I can more accurately judge each dosage.
It's my understanding that if I took 1 mg for four days, for example, and I don't experience withdrawal each day, then I can reduce it by 25% after that, repeating the same process of reducing by 25% every four days until (exponentially) it's like... .25 or .125 even (next to nothing) and then you drop off.
Sorry, didn't mean to write a friggin' book here, but what can I say, I want good advice so I might as well give you as much information as I can... I know I asked a lot of questions too, so even if you can only answer one, please respond! I just want to know what to do...
PS -- I really don't want to attend NA, but I am willing to go to the doctor on my own if I can do so confidentially. I don't want my family to find out. I'm afraid he would, though, because I am covered under his health insurance. Besides, I feel like I can quit on my own, because my intentions truly are to quit. Help me somebody?