New member..Need help! Younger brother addicted to Rx painkillers. Any insight is appreciated?
- 2 Dec 2009 by ebroal88
- 2 Dec 2009
My younger brother (20 years old) is addicted to prescription pain killers--both opiates and sedatives I believe. A year ago our family found out he had been abusing these drugs for many years as well as many others after dropping out of school (college) and stealing close to 10k from my parents, close family, and me due to his drug addiction. He has been in and out of rehab 4 times now in the past year and for 5k a pop for each rehab is financially taxing on my parents. We have relocated him to a city and into a halfway house away from the area where he began using. He is on his own but my parents provide financial support for his recovery and rehab. This has worried our entire family but it has taken a SEVERE toll on my parents.
I fear my brother will be homeless the streets very soon as my parents are cutting him off for good. He constantly receives moral support from family and concerned individuals. He has a solid support group but the stealing, lying, and secrets are taking their toll on family members and friends.
He knows the pain and the harm it causes the people who love him as well as the harm he does to himself, yet it seems to not make a difference. My brother will surely die if continues on the same path --Ive seen it happen...
Does anyone have any insight from a similar experience? Is there something our support group can do to help? Is there anything besides constant support and rehab that can help?
You are not going to get a different answer than what I gave you before.
He is 20 years old. He knows what is good for him and what is not. He is going to do what he wants to do. Your parents have done everything they can do. Even more than they should. It is time for them to say no more !!
Some people have to learn through tough love. He has it cushy right now, as he has breakfast, lunch and dinner and a place to live. Maybe some jail time would be good for him. He will get attention, he will get square meals and a bed. At least you know he will have a harder time to do his stealing. Drugs are plentyful there, but so are drug tests.
If I was you, leave the talk line open. But do not give him any money at all. Do not give him a home. He is on his own now.
What he does need now is lots of prayer.
Prayers are being heard so keep it up
Dear Ebroal99..my heart breaks for you, your family & your brother... but the financial support is not helping your brother, please believe me, I am Your Mother, 10 years from NOW!! YOU, Your Parent, Friends, etc, can not help your brother unless he is truely ready for help, he is an addict. He will continue to lie, steal, manipulate each & everyone of to get his drugs no matter what, he will promise he is clean, promise he wants to start a new life, show proof, use you up until there is nothing left to use. It has nothing to do with him not loving hyou or your parents & friends, he is an addict first & everthing else next..he has no control or chooses not to have any contro, which ever dose not matter, & moving him to a new city makes no difference, drugs are EVERYWHERE! An addict will find them.
My daughter & her fiance took their grandmothers oxycontins as she laid dying out of he purse & split the bottle in half & gobbled them up like candy and felt no gilt as she cried in pain while slowly dying. If you & your parents really want to help, let him go, NO MORE MONEY, NO MORE HELPING HIM, NO MORE ENABELING. I know what you are thinking... Man she is harsh... really?? Had I done what everybody told me maybe we wouldnt have a 31 yr old pregnant drug addict going to the methadone clinic everyday sucking the life blood out of myself & my poor husband, who by the way has already suffered a severe heart attack at 53 years old, oh did I mention there is also another young child that has to cared for as well? Who do you think dose that? Druges on society, on us, and all the worry about is their next hit, or fix or what ever they call it..Oh I am sorry... they call it their MEDICINE now since its methadone..instead of heroine, that wont last long either, just waiting for the baby to come so the child services cant take it, then back to their old crap... so I am sorry to be so negative, and I truely will save a place tonight in my prayers for your brother, you and especially your Mom & Dad but Sweetheart I have watched it and you are just feeding the monster by the role you guys are playing... God Bless & Good Health another beaten up Mom
It is time to stop enabling him to get and do the drugs he's addicted to. Tough love is what you have to do now even though it makes you feel terriblle. By doing this you will force him into the next stage (which will happen anyway). The next stage will be buying these drugs off the street and dealing with some people that he will hate dealing with. Doctor shopping, prescription forgery ect is all a part of the addiction behaviour. One thing that is to his benifit is that he has been to rehab and he does have the tools to start recovery which a lot of people don't have. So this could shorten his addiction time. I fully believe that most addicts have to go through a process before they can really get into serious recovery. It took me almost 25 years and I have been in recovery for almost 8 years. Hopefully this won't take as long. What it all comes down to is the addict, as long as he/she knows that there is help out there when they decide it's time.
This person knows there is help because of the rehab stints. They also have the tools they have learned from rehab which when the time comes will be a powerfull asset. So hang in there and just make sure that he/she knows that you are there for them when they want to get into recovery only... Dave
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