Hello. This is the first time I have posted to this forum, or any forum for that matter, in an effort to come to terms with my oxycodone addiction and get help.
I am a 34 year old single mom of a wonderful 5 year old daughter. I have a great job, great family, and great boyfriend. No one who knows me would EVER guess, but I am so humiliated to say that I have been stealing oxy's out of my mom's purse for 3 years now. She is on several medications for chronic pain conditions and I think she must think that she is taking them and not realizing it. She will give me some from time to time for my "migraines", which are fake of course. When I don't get them from her, I take them out of her purse when my daughter and I go to visit. Which of course, because of my habit, we go "visit" at least three times per week. I take a low dose (45 mg per day) compared to most I've seen, but none the less am hooked and cannot seem to get off of them. My problem is I am hooked on the energy they give me. When I get home from a long day at work, I take 3 15mg's and I feel great. Like a great mom that's full of energy for my daughter, and a great housekeeper because I have the energy to keep my house spick and span.
It kills me inside that I have this addiction because I feel like I don't know what the real "me" is anymore. And I feel like a horrible daughter for robbing my mother for 3 years. I'm so afraid she is going to start counting them some day and put two and two together. I'm shocked she hasn't yet, but like I said, she is on a lot of other meds so probably thinks she's just not counting them correctly.
I don't know what to do. I'm crying as I type this because I feel like a terrible mom also for letting something control my life like this and not putting all of my attention on my daughter. Please, any advice would be so helpful. I'm at my wits end and am miserable with myself.