... something was going on cause we had money missing from our bank account, but everytime i confronted him about it he always had an excuse and i couldn't prove what i knew was going on. This isn't the first time its like the 3rd. I just don't know what to do, His family tells me to stick with it and help him get through this, hes a good man, which i do belive he is a good man, but not at this time the drug has taken over his life that is all he cares about is getting his next fix. My friends tell me to leave him he has to hit rock bottom before he will really get help. He tells me hes gonna stop and get help, but i don't believe him, I have heard all this before and the trust is broken even more now than before. We have 4 kids together 2 are his and 2 are mine. 2 are 10 and 2 are 7, i don't want to ruin their x-mas when they don't know or understand what is going on, yet i dont know what to do i dont think i am emotionaly strong enough to go through the withdrawl process yet again and to be hurt and lied to when i believe it will happen again in the future. I suggested treatment and such to him but he refuses because he is the bread winner of the family (i am a stay at home mom) and he says he can do it on his own, which i know he cant i heard that before and it has just gotton worse. Please help and give me some advice!!!
Sounds like to me you know what you have to do. But making the decision is facing the reality. Something that is so difficult. Without to many details I had to make a life changing decision 12 years ago. I had 2 teenage daughters. I decided I had enough and it was time for me to take care of me so I could be a much better Mom and person. My self estemm was so low and everyone elses opinions mattered more than my own. Though taking the big change was the hardest change I had to make. it was really hard for a couple years but things do get better. remember if you can not take care of yourself how can you take care of your children. the other thing I learned was the children knew so much more than I ever thought. They are never too young to reconize stress. Do you have someone that can help you? Do you have a career you can do if you need to go back to work? Do you have a friend who is or knows a lawyer so you can educate yourself on your rights. Know what is true first. Be smart and protect yourself and children. Good luck.
Sheila said it all really. Your children know more than you think they do.
You might want to encourage this man to get to a Suboxone doctor. If he is abusing opiates and is the breadwinner, he will need to be cognizant during his withdrawal. Suboxone quells cravings and stops withdrawal. Encourage him to do this AND seek out counselling.
You probably need some counselling yourself. This situation, as horrible as it may be can be remedied. IF he is willing to do the work. If not, cut bait and go.
I mean no offense when I say this, but if his lips are moving he is probably lying to you. Go with him to his Suboxone appointments, if that is possible.
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