He says he can't help it. He'll have a nervous spout of energy, clean everything , but instead of relaxing to ESPN2 he is sleeping instead. Do you think he needs a medicinal remedy?
Is he taking any sort of medication/s? Does he drink? Is there anything that could possibly be causing the tiredness? If not, it could be that he's just depressed, one of the common symptoms of depression is sleeping way too much, not really finding pleasure in the things that he used to, such as sports. The nervous spout of energy sounds abnormal as well... Guys are weird, ok, I'm weird - you have to remember that we are TERRIBLE at communicating, and for the most part, especially when it has to do with emotions, we would rather avoid dealing with the issue altogether.
There's no way that a guy is going to go to his friends and say "you know Joe, I've been feeling really down and depressed lately", the normal "guy" response would be along the lines of "shut up and lets go to the bar" or something that totally skips over the topic with a touch of mild idiocy. Sooooo, if it is depression, there's also irritability that usually tags along, I'm not sure if it would explain the nervous spout of energy, but the two do go hand in hand. You're best bet would be to talk to him, and if I could make a suggestion, this is how I would like to be approached as a guy in a very relaxed non-pressured sort of way:
"Honey, this last week you seem a bit off, and I'm worried about you. I understand if you don't want to talk about it right now, but I do want you to know that I am here to help and listen whenever you want to talk, after-all, we are a team, and I love you."
Guys often don't even know what's going on, and it can take a while to even formulate a way of putting out how he's feeling, so if you pressure your man, more likely than not, he'll snap at you, or say something that he doesn't really mean. I am of course generalizing, and this isn't true in all cases, but really is true for the vast majority.
This is just and only just a theory as to why he's sleeping all the time, but I would think that you would include medications if he were on any, and if that's taken out of the mix, depression would be in my mind the most likely.
Good luck, and I really hope that this is of some help!
Hi Cat, Patti and Jeff K,
Holy Shiznit!!! Patti, Jeff really does deserve the coveted Booter Award!! That was some answer JK!! In this gurlz opinion, a woman must hold up flash cards regarding emotions for men, a la Sesame Streets "Name That Feeling" game, that way a man can simply point to the facial expression that best fits his mood or the way he is feeling!!
Having said that, I will add that some men actually DO know what they are feeling, however the majority do not seem to have a clue at times! Please, no vendetta's on my opinion? 'Tis just that, my opinion! Nothing more, nothing less and it may be very incorrect to some. And I understand that. To quoth Jules character from Pulp Fiction... "That's Kool and the Gang baby"!!
I am just sitting here astounded by JK's answer is alls I'm sayin' !!
Hope your hubby is feeling better soon Cat... and keep us posted, won't you??
Hi Cathleen! Nice to talk to you again!
My first husband suffered from clinical depression for many years, even before being diagnosed. (So, THAT explains it~~NOW you tell me! LOL)
My present hubby, Dave, was showing some of the same signs of
depression so I asked him to get checked out. Dave was given an antidepressant at the end of June which is helping him immensely (& as an indirect result~~~ME). In my heart, I think his depression will be short-lived. Right now, Dave just needs a little extra support, a bridge, a boost.
121 million people in this world have some form of depression. On Drugs. com's website, 78 medications are currently listed which are used to help with depression. Not every person will have the same signs or symptoms or same amount & not everyone will be depressed for the same length of time. Depressed people may not even notice anything different while others close to them can.
Some of the signs that might be exhibited are: lack of energy; lack of interest (my first hubby would watch a movie for over 2 whole hours & then leave during the last five minutes when all the exciting, noisy action & film's conclusion was happening~~he did that ALL the time!~~couldn't watch a movie in its entirety because it wouldn't keep his interest); sleeping all the time or more often than usual; uncommunicative or moreso than normally; wants to be alone (my first hubby would just "float away" silently & go to bed without telling anyone at all or saying good night); not eating the same amount or a loss of appetite; gets irritated or upset more easily & things trigger his bad moods more often; feeling "blue" for no apparent reason; feeling hopeless or worthless~~"What's the point?"; has a harder time to focus on tasks; not showing affection & loving like normally; doesn't want to be touched by you in a romantic or loving way; doesn't smile or laugh hardly at all any more~~facial expression is sad or frowning or mad or expressionless; wants to stay inside & at home more often; doesn't socialize as much as normally, even with family, close friends, or co-workers; personal hygiene deteriorates or becomes non-existant; has a harder time to think clearly or else will just think about 1 specific thing over & over & over again, sometimes for weeks at a time; has trouble remembering things; smokes more, drinks alcohol more, uses drugs more; gambles more; won't talk to you or even look at you while sitting at dinner table; talks quieter as if he has no energy for speaking (my first hubby would be right beside me & I still couldn't hear him~~I'd have to say "Pardon?" several times frequently if he actually would even talk to me~~he wouldn't speak louder or in a normal level of voice; almost looks & acts like a "zombie"; acts as if he's just "going through the motions", acting perfunctorily; gets mad or upset when not really warranted; doesn't get mad or upset when he should.
Cathleen, this is my own personal list from my married life. It's a partial list, culled from my memory bank. I can tell you that I felt as if I was "walking on eggshells" all the time at home during this depressed period. It was hard for me to know what to say or what not to say. 'Twas a mighty stressful time, indeed!
Observe your hubby for a few days to get a better idea of what he's doing or not doing. Write detailed notes in a diary for reference. Cathleen, if you do think he IS depressed, do not wait before securing treatment, the sooner the better. When he visits the doctor, there are tests that can be performed & questions that can be asked to determine if he actually is depressed & if so, which type of depression.
Does your hubby use sedatives or tranquilizers? These can cause depression. Did he recently experience a major loss such as someone dying or a pet passing over or a job loss? See if you're able to interest your husband in something, something that might give him joy. Watch his reactions. Cathleen, right now you're his best hope for better health!
YOU can do it! YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
All the best to you & your family! Please let us know how everything works out. Thanks, Cathleen!
Please reach out to me or someone else if you need some support.
Your friend, Wendy :)
P.S. What would our men do without us in their lives? LOL
How long has it been since he's had a good medical checkup? My husband has started going to bed earlier & earlier eveyday until I insisted he see his heart doctor. His angiogram showed he needed another stent in his left anterior descending artery of his heart. That mkes 4 , plus a pace make to keep him ticking. They also checked his leg veins & arteries, & they are clogged up too. Then after all that his his heart doctor didn't check his neck arteries at all (??? ) Don't know why, but when he went to see his Pacemakerr doctor I suggested he tell him about it. Well, guess what, no pulse in the left side of his neck! I am not suggesting that this could be wrong with your husband, but until he gets a checkup there is no way tof telling what could be wrong to make him sleep all day. Talk him into it, or do as I & make the appointment for him.
Maybe he's just bored too! That could be a good solution for you both, because you could start planning events to do together. I will hope for the best, & kudos to Jeff, for being so honest as to how men really are! Welcome back my friend. Good to see you posting again...
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