I asked twice over thirty-three years for the doctors to take me off of pain medications because I knew that my body was resistant, and though they were helping to give me pain free function, the migraines were not changed. It was never a question of being dependent or out of control, it was an observation that as long as I had been on the medications I knew that I could not just stop. Anyone who is remotely educated about medications knows that you have to get off any long term medication carefully. This was my only reason for asking to get off. Since then, no doctor will talk to me about treating my pain, I am right now unable to walk. My hip is not functioning, and I cannot put weight on it without incapacitating pain. I was given the initial shot in the joint, but then I reinjured it, so they tried again and it didn't work, so they are testing me, but not addressing my pain. I was actually asked by my doctor, what exactly did I want him to do for me? My answer was/after total confusion, that he help me to walk again. It seemed an understanding not to refer to my pain, because it was not a consideration. I cannot take NSAIDs as I have history of bleeding ulcers. I was simply told that well it made things difficult for them to help me because of that. My health record says that I had a long dependency on pain medications. I wonder if that means something detrimental. I have never taken my medications in any other manner than was prescribed. And yet, I feel as if I have acquired a stigma that no one wants to talk about. All I know is, that when I got off, it was not because I never expected to need to address pain ever again, and yet here I am.