I had a second instance of DVT and PE Dec 2015. I was in ICU three days and in the hospital a total of seven days. The first time I had a DVT w PE was two years ago. Caused by a long car ride and five days on a houseboat. I couldn't hike because my back was totaled by a head on collision in 2010. So I was swimming instead.
This time I stepped over a baby gate and fell on both knees spitting one open. The leg that got the DVT was the other leg. I thought the shortness of breath was my asthma and COPD. I live in a very smoggy city. I didn't go to the ER for a month to the day after my fall

My o2 saturation at sleep is still only 86. I sleep with oxygen.

A TPA procedure was done. Apparently I was dying.

I can't cope emotionally. I read and read all I can. Everything I read gives me low odds of living even just a year let alone more. I am 55 yrs old.

I do have Xanax. I am on Xarelto for life apparently

Help. I feel alone and lost and scared. I don't want to die. My granddaughter is only three and I have a fiancé. A wonderful man that is so caring. He's scared and if I talk about this he tears up.