My husband is an alcoholic and has just been diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver. We have been together for 30 years and has been a heavy drinker for most of those years. He is still drinking alcohol but not as much as he used to he has a swollen stomach with fluid and goes yellow. I like a drink and have been drunk in the past but when I have been out but when I am at home I don't need a drink I can control my drink. My husband cannot stop drinking. I feel angry because for years I have told him he will end up with a bad liver but he doesn't listen and although he has cirrhosis he still drinks. His GP has told him that if he doesn't stop drinking he will die within 6 to 8 months. I love him dearly but it is hard to cope with because he is selfish and doesn't care how I feel. I have decided that I can't nag him to stop because he won't listen. I sometimes hate him because now I live day to day wondering if he will wake up in the morning and I hate that feeling I hate him because we can't do what we want anymore when we go out because he is ill and wants to come home. I am unhappy and sometimes I want to leave him and be happy but I have tried that and although it was only a few days I was worried about him. When I came back he had not had a wash, he stank, he was spaced out, he hadn't been taking his tablets. I feel trapped and depressed half the time and all I ask is to be Happy. I do love him dearly but I can't help feeling angry with him. WHAT DO I DO? I need to hear from someone who is going through the same and need advice I feel so alone.
I'm a recovered alcoholic having been a very heavy drinker for a bit less than 30 years. I didn't wake up until I was refused surgery for a broken hip. The Doctor said it was not worth treating as I would be dead within 2.5 years; they did offer me an amputation. I decided that a scarce 50 years was not enough (i'm an atheist) and had within three weeks (impending death gave me strength or god if you are a theist. With insanely driven diet (I eat virtually the same thing every day) things improved (no sneaked drinks) and a year ago I was upgraded to living 5 to 10 years; 1 year later it is still in the 5 to 10 year limit.
The main issue with alcoholics in final stages is that they seem to want a miracle at the last minute when they realise they will die sooner rather than later. The main issue is that most alcoholics choose to live in a state of denial and don't want to give up. Now he is behaving in a dependant way "see what happens when you leave me?). I'd leave him; making you watch is cruel, selfish and hurtful (he will probably start blaming you soon). His last days will be in hospital where he will slip into a coma and pass a few days later.
Good luck & love, Steve.
My husband is an alcoholic. He drank for over 50 years. What symptoms does he have besides ascites and jaundice? Does he take medications for his symptoms? You can not quit drinking for him no matter how much you want to or love him. Over the last 20 years, my husband has been given hours to days to live on multiple occasions and has lived through them all. Six years ago he was given 7 days to 90 days to live. I long ago had quit asking him to quit drinking so on this occasion I bought his urn and placed it on our fireplace mantel, had him draw up his will and medical directives paperwork. I told him that I loved him and would miss him but it was his choice. He quit drinking. He wanted to live! We have 7 children, 25 grandchildren, and 8 great grandchildren for him to finally enjoy! What can you do? Accept his decision. Tell him you love him and will miss him but it is his choice. Prepare for the worst and pray for the best. Will you have bad days? You bet you will. I still have many angry moments and have to go off by myself and "re-group". I hope he will make the decision to live. Now that my husband is bed bound, on hospice and miserable, he would tell him that he wishes he had quit sooner and had more time. Alcoholism is such a horrid disease and destroys so many lives. Just know that you are not alone! Too many have had to live this life of alcoholism and sadly, many more will live it also. My hopes and prayers will be with you and your husband. I am a surviving 47 year veteran of the effects of alcoholism!
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