When I was a freshman in college, I was so homesick that I was prescribed 20mg of Lexapro (this was back in the fall of 2007). For years I have wanted to get off of it, and so I ditched the most HORRIBLE/judgmental doctor in the world (and she was the only psychiatrist for a huge university!) around Dec 2010, and went to another doctor in town who doesn't really care much and would basically give away meds like candy, which at the time was nice because I didn't want to talk about my problems and just wanted him to give me my Lexapro.
Anyway, around May of this year I wanted to slowly taper off it all together and got 5 mg's so I could safely go from 20mg to 17.5 to 15 to 12.5 etc, all the way down to 0.
This is where I need help -- for some strange/stupid reason I just decided that I would sort of go cold turkey from the 20s and start taking 10 or 15 mg's randomly once or twice a week, or whenever I felt really dizzy or really sad. I know this is TERRIBLE, but I have been doing it for about 3 months now, and I don't live in the town where the doctor who has been prescribing me the meds is anymore (graduated and am living at home for a few weeks), and I am about to run out.
What should I do? I don't want to go back to taking it everyday, but is that the only choice I have? I want to get off it all together and I want it to happen soon (my sex drive suffers majorly and that's a big part of why I'm sick of being on it, I'm 23 and have the drive of an 80 year old for god sakes!), but I have about 15 more of the 5 mg's left, and I am at a total crossroads on what to do. I don't know if it is almost out of my body and I can continue to do this and maybe just never take it again and hope for the best or should I try just taking 10mg's everyday or 15 and slowly go off it that way.
Thank you for ANY and all help!