I start with 20 pills at one time and take 10-15 at a time during the course of the day. It has taken over my life and I've tried to quit for the last couple of days only to land at an E.R. and get a script for 15-20 just to get thru the day. Today is the first day I've been without any in over a year and I feel HORRIBLE. The worst part is I work with addicts and I feel like such a hypocrite. I never thought a non narcotic could make me feel like this.
I don't know what drug you are taking, but there are so many drugs that have potential to become dependent on. -Even if they're not said to be addictive. If a person takes almost any kind of prescription drug over an extended period of time, even if their doctor prescribes it legally to them, eventually your body will slowly build up a tolerance to the drug. I'm not sure what drug you are currently dependent on. But, I may have some advice for you that helped me when I was trying to quit. I personally don't believe that there is only 1 way to quit an addiction. What works for 1 person may not work at all for someone else. Going to AA & NA meetings have helped MANY people overcome their addictions, & that's wonderful! & other people have overcome their addiction through other ways because maybe AA or NA meetings wasn't helping them. I attempted inpatient drug/alcohol rehab in 2 different places the summer of 2010, as well as many AA meetings. I tried my best as long as i could, but I eventually felt hopeless. 1 month after my last attempt at rehab, I got my 1st & (hopefully) only DUI. (By the way, I'm not saying that taking too many pills & then driving & getting in trouble with the law is a good way to help yourself get rid of your addiction!). I was legally forced to stop drinking. Cold turkey. Within that week, I had a grande mal seizure because of alcohol withdrawal. After 3 months of forced sobriety, I started to accept the chaos around me & within me, instead of blocking it all out. But in the beginning, it was HORRIBLE. I could have walked a couple miles to get liquor, but I thought 'Whats the point? Its -15 degrees outside.' I was giving up on life because I was without my alcohol. I was a recluse for awhile. Eventually my body & my mind were able to TOLERATE being without alcohol. Now, I have 1-2 drinks occasionally. Some people get nervous when they see me holding a beer. I've accepted that deep down, I'm always going to be in love with something that could destroy me. Me trying to be without it the rest of my life, -the pressure of that idea just doesn't work for me. It sets me up to fail massively. I know this because I tried doing it that way, way too many times & it never worked for me. I knew there had to be something else that could help me. & there is a well-known saying: "The definition of crazy is: doing something repetitively to try to fix something, but you keep getting a bad outcome & the problem never gets fixed."--something along those lines. My body knows what is best for me. & it doesn't agree with 'this way or that way', or 'black or white', or 'fail or succeed'. I think the 'grey areas' between the 'black and white' need to be explored more. I don't know how much space I'm allowed to write in this box, but I do have actual tips that might help you, in my next paragraph if I'm allowed another paragraph. I came up with these on my own. & you will probably discover or create your own ways of getting through this challenge. I copied my entire response in case it was too long, so I could send it in an email or something, if you would like.
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