Last night i was invited to a party. It was for my co workers sister, she has breast cancer. I got caught doing cocaine and got thrown out. I was so upset and angry at myself i went downtown and smoked crack with some random people. I was so out of it i wanted to die and wished for an OD. My friend told me not to bring that crap into his sisters house and i did it anyways because i am no longer able to have a couple beers like a normel guy. I have been doing coke for 10 years now and i really really dont wanna die and leave my mom alone. i just hate myself and dont know what my place in life is.