whats next for me? I tried to quit to many times to count. the last time i pulled myself off i took ultram and zanex to help,then 2 weeks in i had my first grandmall seizer. I got back on my pain med that day. Its taken me over and i just dont know what to do. I have a wondreful husband and a baby girl. my husband has CHF AT 30yrs old and runs in circles. I am depressed and have lost myself. I take painpills but i mix alot of stuff.Anything to not get sick but it takes more everyday.I take about 10-20 ten migs a day.oxycodone is my pick but i take what i can get. being sorber to me feels like someone using for the first time. im ready but very scared! anyone out there?