whats next for me? I tried to quit to many times to count. the last time i pulled myself off i took ultram and zanex to help,then 2 weeks in i had my first grandmall seizer. I got back on my pain med that day. Its taken me over and i just dont know what to do. I have a wondreful husband and a baby girl. my husband has CHF AT 30yrs old and runs in circles. I am depressed and have lost myself. I take painpills but i mix alot of stuff.Anything to not get sick but it takes more everyday.I take about 10-20 ten migs a day.oxycodone is my pick but i take what i can get. being sorber to me feels like someone using for the first time. im ready but very scared! anyone out there?
Im a 28 yr old opiate abuser of three years. I need help. whats next?
- 29 Jun 2010 by nicclez
- 29 June 2010
- ultram, opiate dependence, pain, restless legs syndrome
Added 30 Jun 2010:
well, yesterday was the worst! Im about 34 hours in. well see how today gose is the worst over?
Rather unfortunate, me no saint, but do believe in God who has given you this life a beautiful daughter, please do not abuse meds which are made for reliving pain & suffering, may this help you to think & kick the habit, you have done it before so you can do it again, may God be with you, self help is the best help!!! Take care & all the best...
Good question,I'd hoped you had the answer. You has the seizure because you quit taking the xanax,not the pain killers,not the dope. Do you happen to have any Gabapentin? If so take it & you won't have the siezures because it's an anti-convulsent,but if you feel you need them to function GET SOME!! I have grandmal siezures everytime I run out of my Klonopin & Temazapam. Consider yourself lucky when it comes to opiates though. I started on 2 100mg M.S Contin & 4 4 miligram Dilaudid,now I'm on 8, 8mg dilaudid and 60 mg M.S Contin when those are gone. I'm getting real sick of being a slave to opiates & benzoz's just to keep my mind right a & not just taking 15 8mg dilaudid & say fuck it all excuse my language. I have a problem with bad neck pain so I need something & have been thinking about switching to methadone,but I know I won't get the same feeling.
I took 4 40 mg O.C's & didn't feel a thing,that tells you how deep I'm in,what next? I can't work but before my neck operation I was a very active biker,disc golfer. & other active things,now I sit home & take pain meds & watch the same shows on t.v. cuz I have no cable,it was kinda fun to start with but when you wake up already in the begining of dope sickness,where you can't even take a hit off a smoke without gagging & getting dry heaves. It's a bitch! My advice would do what I'm afraid to do & get on methadone or subutex and then suboxone. I go to sleep at 3a.m,yet still wake up before 7:30! Makes fir a long day & a lot of drugs to get through the day,I haven't even gotten right today yet but I saw your question & just felt I needed to say something. I live alone,your married which complicates the whole mess. Does hubby know about your prob.? If so he could help but in the end it's got to be you. Just s warning,my best friend died from a grandmal siezure,he was a bug guy & was laying on his stomach & sufficated. I'm not trying to scare you but everyday you here of someone famous dying from dope,& those are just the ones you here about. I think you know what your options are & just need to make a decision,live a life chained to drugs or go to an in-patient,or in your case mabey just some N.A meetings but your going to have to just kick first which is so much easier to say then do,sure you could switch to methadone,but then what? The shits expensive at clinics,and doctors have to right " FOR PAIN" on your scrip,I've been on that too,but dilaudid is the cadilac of opiates which I worked my way up from morphine,methadone,hydrocodone & now dilaudid,just reverse the meds I mentioned & that's the path I took. I was also on 4 1mg Xanax everyday & temazapam,& the Xanax had me acting like a walking zombie. I worked for the university where I live which was a very good job,14.49 an hr with a raise every year + 2 weeks paid vacation,awsome benefits,free annual bus pass & I earned 2.5 hrs every 2 weeks sick time. I had to resign because of my operation but would have been fired if I kept doing what I was (and still am) Sorry I didn't answer your question,but I think I gave you an idea of what will happen. Good luck & think about what I said cuz it's a progresive disease & will only get worse,your on s very small amount of O.C now so now would be your best time to try,DO IT,don't just try or it will turn out bad if you have conections to feed your habit.
I will apologize for the long post right now.
Glad you asked this question as I have looking for a way to talk about this here. Some people will no doubt not be happy with what I am going to tell you but IMHO that’s their problem and right now you need to get off the junk.
About four years ago I needed to detox as I was going into the hospital for a very major (12 hour) operation. Even though the pain clinic I go to is attached to the hospital there is ALWAYS a problem for someone that uses a lot of opiates prescribed or not. You will always bump into a doctor or a nurse that does not believe in long term narcotic use and they have their ways of expressing it, much to your detriment. I have been there done that and was not going to do it again.
I went on line and searched for quick detox. I found a drug called Ibogaine. It is not allowed in this country but is allowed in Mexico and all but three countries in the world. The good 'ol USA protector of us all and having special concern for our children (not the tax burden my great grandchildren are now faced with) Sry , off my box now! I made a number of calls to this clinic in Mexico and after my due diligence I decided to try it. I got on a plane and went to San Diego. I was picked up at the airport and driven to the clinic in Playas del Sol Tijuana (sp). We stopped by a Lab on the way and they took blood and urine samples. Later that afternoon I met the director of the clinic and filled out about 1000 pages of information :) By then I was crashing very badly but they told me I had to be off for 24 hours. Doesn’t sound like long but most of us know what 24 hours w/o meds is like. I expressed my displeasure of having to wait but they filled up the time with forms and getting my room setup. I had a private room with music, bathroom and a nice view. I took my test dose which lets them know if you might possibly have a reaction before they give you the mega dose to clean out your system. By 7:30 that evening it was a Monday I was given to proper dosage according to my weight. There was a doctor on staff at all times and two very nice nurses as well. They have four rooms and usually have 2 to 4 people taking at the same time. If you do a little research you will find that this medicine has been used for many years in South Africa as a rite of passage for young boys going into puberty. The idea is that this med unlocks their brain and they visit, in their head, past ancestors of the tribe and learn why they are in Africa and what life is all about. After they go thru this experience they become men in the tribe’s viewpoint.
Well there was a fellow by the name of Howard lotsoff (sp sorry Howard) who was travelling thru the area with friends and he convinced the tribe to let him try it. He went thru the experience and the following day ne noticed he didn’t feel the need to reach for his heroin. Yes he was a junkie. He thought it was strange and so he asked some of the other people he was with to try it and the same thing happened. After they went thru the experience of this drug metabolizing thru your system they as well (the junkies) all feel no desire to get high.
OK what happens you might be asking as well as he's a nut job I have never heard of this and if there was a drug that you could take one time and no matter how long you have been abusing drugs will give the person a window of a number of weeks to get help with out any withdrawal symptoms or at least no more than 10 % or so. In my case the experience lasted three days. I took at 7:30 as I have said. Around 45 mins later I started seeing faces floating around me and a slight buzzing in my ears. Next I was watching a filmstrip of my life I found I could stop and rewind it anytime I wanted to, I could hear and speak to people just as if they were right in front of me, I found that I could also play some what-if's with myself, for instance. I watched as I tried my first diet pill and I felt the rush of the amphetamine going thru my system. I saw what happened next and I said to myself "if I didn't take it what would have happened" I played those games with other points in my life where I made decisions that probably , ok defiantly were not in my best interest and again I was able to see why I made the decision I did. That "life review" goes on for anywhere from 6 to 18 hours. The nice thing is, and if you haven't got it by now this is a hallucinogenic, just as with any of them if you find yourself in a bad spot you just open your eyes if they are closed or close them if they are open. It will reset the film strip and you can restart where you want to.
I hear people now... No way again if you could take a medicine one time and be off the junk w/o withdrawal everyone would know about it. WRONG and there are some legit reasons but mostly it is the Gov't being paranoid that it might be abused. I will tell you that yes it is somewhat like LSD on steroids but how many times do you want to see your life experience. I think there is also a group of people, some here no doubt that feel it should not be that easy to get off. It’s a legit question but in my opinion very misguided.
Ok so when you get past the life experience part of the medicine you then go into a period of reflection where you spend , again anywhere from 1 to 12 hours reviewing what you went thru. To go just a little deeper as you may know there was a time (and it may now be beginning to be used again) where LSD was used in a psych offices. The patient would ingest the drug and the Dr would lead them thru the trip. Well this medicine actually comes with its own guides. I know it’s hard to get your head around but this medicine gets so many neurotransmitters firing all at the same time I am sure if you could look inside of someone's head that is on a trip it would look like the fourth of July.
Anyway in my case was in the review period for at least 10 hours. As the drug metabolizes thru your system it turns into Nor-Ibogaine a different compound. Well the nor-Ibogaine starts to plug up all of the opiod receptors. In my case I swear I could feel them being sucked into a receptor and sticking in real tight. The best way to refer to this medicine is to call it a drug addiction interrupter. . If you take the Ibogaine and then continue on living your life the way you were when you were using you will just slip back into the old habits and start using again. It takes anywhere from 3 to 6 weeks for the nor-Ibogaine to fall off the opiod receptors.
This experience in my case went on as I said for almost three days. I was physically spent when I finally climbed out of bed and made my appearance downstairs. Like I said I was the only patient that week so I had the run of the place and a doctor of my own and two very nice nurses. I was pampered and fed whatever I wanted. The second day after I got out of bed they had a physical therapist come in and he worked over my body something fierce. He did a Swedish type massage. A deep tissue Swedish massage. I have to say it hurt like hell but felt oh so good, if you can relate He squeezed all the poison of fifteen years of heavy PRESCRIBED narcotics. I was totally addicted don’t get me wrong. Anyone that takes narcotics prescribed or not will eventually become physically addicted. Some I have heard as low as 10% will become an addict and will show signs of drug seeking behavior. Even those poor souls deserve pain relief with narcotics in my opinion if warranted. The problem is control. They are a doctors worst nightmare I am told. At least we are now beginning to see doctors becoming less afraid of the DEA and treating that group of folks as well. Again I am talking about people that have concrete medical reasons that narcotics are one part of a chronic pain treatment program.
This medicine WORKS I had very little withdrawal symptoms. Really all I had was some loose stools for a few days. I have had the pleasure of going thru withdrawal once where I was stuck out of country with out medication. It SUCKED and I don't ever want to have to experience it again. I wouldn't even wish it on my worst enemy. It is a sin in my opinion that you have to go underground and break the law if you take this medicine in this country. As I said I went to Mexico and there are clinics now in Canada as well as all over Europe. This is NOT a drug that you close the door and pop a pill by yourself and have a wonderful time. YOU can NOT be alone when you take this. You really in most cases are not able to move on your own. I heard a very loud noise that brought me partially back to the real world during my experience. I noticed that there wasn’t any up or down or left or right so if the house catches on fire you will more than likely watch it burn around you. It is best taken in a clinical environment with professional people around you 24/7 it is not a drug that you go into lightly. There have been a few deaths. I think I know why, but I would say that there are thousands of addicts that die on the streets every year and untold thousands that OD every year. This drug will give someone that has decided to get off the junk a chance to get clean. Opiate withdrawal is a nasty horrible time consuming hurtful wasteful did I say nasty experience. Why this drug isn’t available is bullcrap. I wrote my Senators and everyone else I could think of. I said at least give it to the people we have now put on maintained methadone. These are people that have made their minds up to be clean and all we are doing now is keeping them hooked at taxpayer’s expense so they don't go out and rape and pillage to support their habits. I got nowhere. I am getting tired but I do tell everyone I meet, if I can get the conversation in that area. Everyone knows someone that either has a problem with drugs or has a relative that does. The Ibogaine BTW also works on crack addicts, smokers, really any addiction, again as an INTERUPTOR. You must get into a support group and change the people you were associating with if you are serious.
Ok my fingers hurt so I will stop. You can Google Ibogaine and find tons of stuff. PLEASE do not let anyone tell you to just buy some and take it and you will be cured. If you would like to chat about it feel free to pvt me or I will watch this thread and respond when I can. Right now I am going to take cover as I imagine it will be a shit throw for a bit unless this has been discussed b4 in this forum.
Good luck in your quest to get clean. It will be the best thing you will ever do for yourself and the people in your life you care for. People have gone years and years using junk but in most all cases their families have paid a very heavy price. Don't do it to yourself or your loved ones nicclez
I have two options for you both would give you your life back!
1. Methadone I suggest this As a maintence drug meaning something you would take for years. With Methadone there are no withdrawls and you will better able to live your life. You only dose once a day and its prescribed by a doctor. I have herd many people are annoyed by the clinics in the states and other areas. I haven't really had any problems with mine here in ontario. The wait times once a month sucked but I'm now at my mmt doctors family practice no wait times. At first you see the doc a lot but If you continue to pee clean within a few months you should be able to witness once a week at a pharmacy and then get 6 take homes. I'm not sure If that's how it works everywhere but just ask your local clinic
B. Suboxone! You go to suboxone.com and find a doctor in your area to prescribe it to you. This drug can be tappered with no withdrawls If done correctly. Its so new most doctors have no idea what they are doing so your best bet would be to join the forum here and get the help to do it right. To do have to be off opiates for 12 to 72 hours there is a cows clinical withdrawl scale every doc should use once you score a 26 you can start. If you don't score the 26 on the scale you will feel the worst withdrawals of your life. Its the only time during the process you will feel ill with the opiates you take 12 hours should be good. It sounds bad to have to be in withdrawls to start it but it is very do able its moderate withdrawls so you don't feel bad too long. The 72 hour wait is for people switching from Methadone to suboxone
Like I said doctors are over prescribing instead of taking the 16 to 24mg your doc willl tell you to. You take 2mg and in one hour If you still feel sick you take 2mg more. Even people with huge habits 8Mg and less is good for them but everyone is different. With Sub less is more too much can also make you sick. You taper off relitively fast and from a lower dose is best. So yeah you have two options here both good and can get help from this site for both a couple people from this site have helped many many get clean and comfortabley too so no need to panic about that
ok what all are you on now and how many mg are you still on xanax ? if you find doctor you are on so much you will prob have to be inpatent and go to rehab i was xanax 3 1/2 yrs i also was on tramadol and sometimes when i could get it used lortabs but never got addicted to pain meds . being sober is scarey iam not going to lie to you the 1st day is worst if you can make it through that you will be ok your going to be sick and throw up not sleep but think about being sober and smiling and laughing not worrying about ur next high or wasting money more money for your baby girl :) just look at that cute face . I am going through xanax withdrawl right now its worst ever ... cold turkey 3 times if your serious about this you will need alot support you will have good days and bad 1st wk will be big test and u will crave it and i still do but after all this i dont want it even tho i have trouble with alot things , it really changed me drugs took over me are you wanting to do this by urself or rehab?
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