For about almost a year now, I've been dealing with anxiety and mild ocd(checking everything.. ). I was fine before.. carefree and not worrying. But I remember as a child, I had mild ocd that I think may have caught up with me.
I have trouble leaving the house, driving because after a traumatic experience I'm always afraid I'm going to forget to put my car on park or something and hit a car. I avoid cooking because I know I'm going to keep checking to see if the stove is off, or using any hot iron for my hair. when packing to go places, I get really anxious because I'm afraid I'm going to forget something important so the checking and anxiety takes its toll. My biggest obsession is my wallet and my laptop.. because I'm afraid I'm forgetting items even if I checked the area and saw the item with me. It's irrational but my mind is always convincing itself that I'm leaving something behind. I over think constantly to a point where its hard for me to concentrate on school work or anything that I was interested in before.. I can't sit through a movie or a tv show or play a game. It's affected my confidence so dramatically.. that sometimes I can't hold a conversation because my my mind is thinking about something over and over again.. and trying to fight the constant negative though that something went wrong or I forgot to do something or dropped something important!
I just want to be myself again.. the girl I used to be at least but I don't want to depend on drugs forever.
If this drug does work for me.. does that mean I will be dependent on it forever? :/