... friends that I go out with as much as I can and call or hope they call me, I still feel so alone. It is terrible at night especially when there is no one to talk to. Can anyone suggest what helps them to feel less alone? I am signed up for a few seminars and found another group I can join. Is this the best way to help myself? Will I get used to being alone? My son has moved out on his own so that is what is adding to my lonliness
Hi my new Friend Amelia.
Your not alone, there are many people, including me who feel like you do.
If you can, find a psychologist if your insurance will pay for one.
Maybe you call and ask Social services in you area for help. If you have a Doctor, ask for help with a prescription for Anti-Depressant Medicine. and also something for your anxiety. To help you with what's going on in your life. Explain what is going on with you and why you need help.
One of the thing I have is Jesus Christ, my Saviour.
I'm not going to preach at you, but just tell you that he is who I talk to.
There is nothing better then having friends to talk to.
It's a crappy feeling to feel left out and feeling unpopular.
When I'm alone an feeling down.
I pray, because it's a good feeling. I Talk to Jesus Christ.
If you ever become a Christian, you can find that
God will protect you, and prayer is how we ask for his healing and help. Church's are a great place to meet safe and good people.
Many churchs have classes and events to help fill in time, and you meet wonderful friends.
Back to praying, you can talk to Jesus asking him to come into your heart and make himself home.
You can talk to him all night if needed and It''s better then talking to your self. He hears everything you say and knows just what your thinking about and he will answer prayers.
This might sound stupid, but it's not.
When you go to bed and pray, that you forgive, all thoughs that made you feel bad or hurt you in anyway.
Then ask for Gods help.
Explain how you feel, and what you would like that would make you feel better.
Don't be greedy and ask for selfish things. Talk about loving things and how you would like to be part of making the world, a better place through Jesus. Try this and see what happens.
Come back and tell us how your doing.
Bucky gave you some great advice. I too live alone, but it's by choice. I am a work-a-holic and don't feel that I would devote reasonable time to a healthy relationship. To combat my loneliness, I have fish, a cat, and an indoor dog. I am home enough to give them a lot of attention and they in turn give me companionship and a feeling of being needed. Just a thought. I hope you start feeling better and, as Bucky said, I hope you'll stop by often and let us know how you're doing.
Hi there, Amelia! You're off to a good start. Joining a few groups sure will help. You can always come here too. Bucky is a very good listener! So many people on this site are caring, supportive, and have great advice, both spiritually and emotionally. It's got to be hard living on your own now. Big adjustment. You'll be fine, but I know nights are going to be the hardest part. So when you start feeling down and panicky, just turn on the pc, start getting your feelings down in words and hit "submit" Someone will always be here to lend and ear or offer some advice. Be strong and visit often.
Is it ok to add you as a friend? That way, we can keep in touch and we'll know when eachother posts something new.
Take care and hope to "see" you soon!
Hi AmeliaJM and welcome my name is marjorie zych and I will tell you my dear you can't get much better than these folks. christine, bucky and for that matter everyone here is great, just to show you what I mean by that, I am going in the hospital later today(June 11) for some procedures/surgery for some cancer issues for the third time, I was ready to throw in the towel and give up because I was panicking and I'll tell you what, because of the people on this site and there is tree here to start you off, I am facing this issue with my head now held high, don't get me wrong I am still scared but I feel more sure of myself now that I let that fear and anxiety out to these dear people. No matter where you turn to here there is always someone to return an answer or suggestion back to you and fairly quickly too.
Now there is always someone out there no matter where you go that will not be as nice but I have always found very careing and loving people here, unfortunately there was one who threw in a wise crack but you ignore it and go on to someone that can help and support you. I will also like to add you as a friend but i will not be able to respond o much right now until I return but that I am hopeing will be soon. Definately prayer does help, just knowing we have a wonderful God who will always be there for us no matter what is very comforting. I was right where your at about 8 years ago when my daughter and granddaughter moved out on there own, it was so lonely I was doing some of the silliest things. Like you said though you can still talk to him so just hang in there it eventualy does get better. I am glad you are reaching out now because I tried it alone and that wasn't good. So keep on reaching there my friend and it will soon be o.k. I will be thinking of you, marjorie zych
Hi AmeliaJm, You can be alone and not be lonely, just as you can live with a whole family but still feel lonely. I have done the family. Then asked my hubby (ex) to leave, we had to in order to remain friends and to save us from the co-dependant behavior we were living. Then I did the empty nest thing when the kids decided to go off and get their own places. Now I live with my mom. It was supposed tp be a temporary arrangement. My 96 year old grandmother passed away in Nov. of '09 ( I gained a bedroom), but miss her. In Dec. my dad passed away. He was the only man in my life I could trust 100%. So, now its me and my mom and my little dog and we get along well enough. I get lonely as I am sure she does, but I find plenty to keep busy, she asks me to go lots of places, and I still see my daughter and son about once a week or so. This site has helped me pass alot of time and I think you will feel less lonely if you just jumped in and answered any questions you think will help.
You have already gotten some good advice from several popular people here. I don't think there is much else I can add I have made a couple good friends and one in particular that manages to make me laugh out loud everytime she sends me a private message. Laughing is my favorite thing to do, there are a few others, but I will save those for now! You will be fine.One last thing, I have been in touch with my high school friends ( they all still live in my hometown) I was always the wanderer, but I have had some interesting conversations with them via E-mail. As much as things change, they stay the same. I will add you to my list of people to pray for and welcome to this site. It is not just a bunch of people moaning and groaning about pain, there is a lot to be said for just offering a hand up! Fall Queen
there is a good few tricks i can tell you from experienc that have helped me , one -isolation makes it worse, any human isolated for a long period will probably suffer some sort of anxiety.
two - if your competative have a note pad in your poket and if anxiety stops you doing something tick a colum for anxiety, if you beat it push through tick your side of the colum as a victory.
three- therapy is good, exposure therapy is very good , a hiracy of HEALTHY RISKS were you start by writing a list of things that spark anxiety from rating 1 out of 10 to 10 out of 10 and it can start by going out side to check the mail, then walk to the shop , each victory will build your nervous system.
Four- yes prayer is good what ever your beliefs are, hand the anxiety over to god or your belife
Five- CBT which is simply put write down what your thinking that is causeing anxiety, then rate it out of 10 , then say im gooing to take you on Anxiety and challenge it, re write your thought in a more rational way or a way that reduces the anxiety.Then rate it out of 10 again and it usually drops a bit.
six -journal each day 5min to start with-(fact we think of the same thoughts 80 % of the day so your recycling the same thing all day which would explain haw bad you feel. If its on paper its out of your head.
seven- you cabn also make a time in the day for maybe an hour were you allow yourself to worry for a full hour about everything and anything and when the hours up rest of the day your free to plan and play, then same time next day.
these teqniques start to work automatically over time, and you will beat it , its not you its the anxiety!!
Lonleyness is hard and i can relate this site is helpfull for that, wish nyou well hope one tip makes you feel a little better.
I know how u feel. My husband of 18 yrs died from cancer in 05. After that I felt like i was walking lopsided i was so alone. I also had massive panic attacks. I was a 36 yr old widow with 3 kins!! I was so scared and angry all in one.But after awhile I started to try and keep my mind busy like, reading books, painting, and online support grouops. It helped me alot to know I wasn't the only one. You're not alone.
I'm in the same boat you're in. I live on my own for the first time in my life.I've been married and divorced twice. My youngest son lives with his dad, and my oldest son is in college. So with school starting I won't get to see them as much. I understand, it is VERY lonely. I have my family here in town so that helps. I'm getting involved in volunteer work, and I've called about a divorce recovery group because my second divorce was just finalized in July. I know it's so hard. I think if you get out and get involved like you're doing that's the first step. It's good that you have friends to go out with. That will help a lot I think. When I divorced this time I moved back to my home town... there is NOBODY to hang out with here except my family. And I live in an extremely small town, so there's nothing to do here either. The lonliness is almost more than I can bare sometimes, but I actually enjoy my "me time". But when I get out and go somewhere I feel better. My problem also is with the depression a lot of times I don't want to go anywhere. It's tough. But keep your friends near, find one or some of them that you can talk to about things that bother you, keep getting out and going places. You're on the right track!!! :)
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