and when I finish script and its been almost a week-two I start to think to myself,'geez, for finally cleaning up I really feel awful?'..IDK, I spent most of my adult life in a haze,since highschool and now I don't know how to function right, I have no ambition, cuz EVERYTHING that I did in my everyday was on something... basically feel like I lost a lot of 'me' with every oppurtunity i let pass... Is this normal, and how do you make good when all you think and feel is,'your nowhere you thought you'd be by 30'..I can't even remember half the dreams and aspriations I had... Now my credit shows all collections from whats been spent on pkillers, lost my job mainly because when I sobered up I realized, I am so sick of settling for any job to barley get by, when I know I was supposed to be that person others lived vicariously through, got the life ya know... does this funk pass???
Yes, it passes, this I promise. Yet it takes time, a lot of time. I am over one year off of prescribed Oxy, cold turkey, and I have my sense of self again.
Please google Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome for opiates, you will learn why you feel so sh&tty. Serotonin, norepinephrine, dopamine and your endorphines are all messed up, causing depresssion (for some) and anxiety, lack of motivation... all the things you are feeling right now.
Rememeber that PAWS is temporary! You will not feel like this forever, every day gets better and better. I am still in pain, but i am PRESENT, in this moment and life is great for the most part.
This too shall pass,
This can even pass for people who must take pain meds. I was in that haze for years but remaining on the same dose/kind of meds for now almost 9 1/2 of 11 1/2yrs, I've felt very sober for the past 5yrs. I have only been more able to deal with the depression in the past 3yrs.
I too was the one everyone lived vicariously through before the injury that caused RSD. I know I would LOVE to go back to work if I could ever even get to the point of being able to.
You need to really look at how good things have become in your life vs the negative that still remains. A positive outlook and attitude is something you must start living by even though it takes time to get there.
If you feel you suffer from depression, get it treated. Those meds usually do not cause that haze feeling and could help you feel normal again.
Unfortunately because of the economy you may have to start by taking the jobs you don't want to get one you do.
It's not as much about the money as it is the happiness of your job.
I was injured at age 31; now at almost 43 I've also wondered how I lost so many years of my own life.
I am a writer, a poet, and now feel if I'm going to be trapped by disability and chronic pain, I know the few things that were my dreams I can do even if I don't get paid for it. At least now I'm in my mind to be able to do those things again and have.
I also feel my purpose is to help others who suffer in chronic pain and have done this for many years. To help others is to help myself as it makes me feel good to do so with nothing expected in return.
I hope you can realize that you are still so young and have so much to look forward to. If I can feel that way at my age, I know you can do the same.
Look at this as a brand new start; not at all the time lost. Looking back to our pasts doesn't help us look forward to our future.
The limbo of the way you feel now does pass but it takes your willingness to do so.
Many who r recovering from opiate addiction/overdependence experience depression, guilt feelings, remorse and a condition callee Anhedonia< the lack of feeling pleasure>. If u think u may have depression, tell ur dr and if u r not seeing a counselor, it will help ALOT. Therapy is supposed to b mandatory with subs but i read on here all the time that drr r Not requiring it. Subs group therapy is also excellent. U can take an antidepressant on subs, therapy will really help on top of antidepressant. hope u feel better soon.Pattishan ps. i did NOT Block u sweetlemon, this post had a note that i did. I think i fixed it, so sorry. i swear they are working on the site again.
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