... wanted to be on it for a month or two. Now my husband is insisting I take it as long as the doctor says too (2 years). I've been on sub before and I know what the w/d is like. For me, nothing ever compares to methadone w/d, but it is still bad enough. I just want to be off everything... isn't that what being "clean" means? My husbands concern is me relapsing with H again. I really just want to be clean. He insists on giving it to me in the morning before he goes to work now. When I was taking it, I was not taking the 20mg the doc prescribed. I only took 4-8 mg knowing that the w/d would be less worse than the higher dose. Husband found out and was furious. I don't want to lose him and he said he will leave if I don't "follow the program". What to do?