Before my jaw surgery two years ago I never liked opiates. But after the surgery they were injecting me with very high dosages of oxymorphone and I could not believe the high. Needless to say when I left the hospital I was hooked. After abusing my script I was introduced to oxycontin by a friend and thats when things really got out of hand.
I became so addicted to the euphoria that I constantly sought them out and as a result I lost a lot of friends who did not want to be around someone who was constantly nodding out. Whats sad is that I did not care because the only thing I wanted was to eat 300 mg of oxy and sit by myself in my room and enjoy my high. I'm sure there a bunch of you out there who know this love affair I have with the drug. People who have not been exposed to the euphoria simply cannot understand what we go through. I tried to quit several times and would go for months but then one day the craving would overtake me and I would succumb and go right back into being the ugly person I am when I am high.
This time however, I really took a look at myself and hated who I had become. I have been clean for a month so far and feel great but at a moment like now my mind is battling itself because the craving that comes on out of nowhere is so strong. I am determined to stop this time whereas the other times I was not wholeheartedly into the idea of stopping for good.
Please someone help me. I would appreciate hearing your stories as it always helps to read someone who genuinely feels like I do, and any advice you have for me on how to deal with these urges would be much appreciated.
Thank you in advance for any help.