You ARE a fighter Chris. Listen, I am in about the same boat as you, and believe me, it's not a cruise ship. I have the SSI Disability and get 1151.00 which is probably a few hundred more than you. I waited my two years, as you may still be waiting?? and then finally got Medicare, but prior to that, went 2 years w/nothing as i made too much money for Medicaid any longer and so my hip just disintegrated more and more and more until there is nothing there and i walk w/cane around the house, I have two for when i lose one and believe me, this apt is not big, and the hip surgery that i should now be getting is paid for all except 200.00, no problem, right? Well, the hospital bill is 10K. After I have incurred 2700.00 in expense, Medicaid will p/u the rest, but it's all so effd up, the way the spenddown program works in Wa.
that it has to be in certain months and even at that, I can't afford another bill for 2700.00, so was waiting to hear about a charity program that helps w/the hospital bill, they would only need to pay the $2700 for me. But 2 mos. later and a few phone calls, no response. My Dr. thinks that they will call in Jan. when their new funding comes through. I also am guardian of and take care of my dev. disabled step brother, which is the only way i could ever afford to even have an apt. , as we have no Sec 8 or anything. I love him alot, but it is so hard to not even be able to go spend the night somewhere w/out him and it has been this way for years and always will be i am afraid. His caseworker put in for Sec 8 for him and I was counting on it and my lease is up end of this month from this hell hole ghetto we've lived in for 4 yrs. and now i find that they did not find him needy enough at the time and it is now closed again until June of 2011 and we cannot stay here any longer so i have no money saved up and must be out of here at end of month, not to mention am not physically able to do much and have to pay someone to move me. Fortunately, my ex's mother is willing to help us out w/some money to get into a place, but it's always tough because since i became disabled and lost my job, my credit has gone to hell and trying to get people to rent to you is virtually impossible w/out paying first/last, deposit, alot of dough. I am still running around w/no hip, was supposed to have surgery on my varicose veins tomorrow, but had to cancel as I cannot afford to be layed up any more than i already am due to the need to find a place and try to move. Now, the good news is, after going through hell for the past 2 wks. looking for an apt., wanting one, not getting it, fighting w/the landlords here, even tho i pay promptly, they won't fix anything and are about 20 yrs. old and I can't deal w/their absolute incompetence, so they hate me and i hate them, therefore they do not send in my rental referral, altho a good one, on time and i lose out on apts. that i might have gotten otherwise, I found a condo that is just around the corner on the backside of the golfcourse where my best friend lives in a community called Fairwood Greens and it's 3 bdrms. 2 bathrooms for 1150 and 500 dep. and my ex's mom is going to give us a couple grand to try to get into that place. So all of the bad stuff re my trying to move, was not meant to be, as i have a feeling this is where i am supposed to be. it is also for sale for 115K and was sold originally for 430K. So I am trying to talk my ex mother in law into investing in this condo for her son so that he has a place, I have a place and she has a decent investment that will always go back up. No one listens to me, so i throw my hands up too and just say, How Stupid Is Everyone??? And still, I wake up each day in such pain i can barely move and have to down 50 mg. of methadone to get my coffee and should have had a hip a year ago when i first got my Medicare. MY step brother has a caregiver that is supposed to work 5 hrs. a day but only works one and then gets paid for her 5, she showers him and makes his bed, ruins my laundry and talks on the phone the whole time she is here. I like her as a person, but she sucks as a worker. So I pick up the slack on that and also take care of him the rest of the time and although he is not physically disabled, he is incontinent and sneaks food and is diabetic and it is all just too much for me too honey. I want to simply get on a fucking airplane and fly to Las Vegas or Costa Rica or Mazatlan, anywhere but where I am right now, but since i have no hip, i don't think i'd have too much fun anywhere else either.
Chris, i just vented all of this to help us both. To make me feel better by venting and to let you know, that you are NOT alone, we all have these dreadful crosses to bear, God only knows why, but my belief is that we learn from everything we experience and I hope and pray that my belief is true. I am still an attractive 53 yr. old woman that cares about clothes and having a life again and I really do not have one at this time, so I know how you are feeling and I want you to know that it will change, i don't know when or exactly how, but please do not give up, you are such a joy to everyone on here and we all love you so much and you DO have people that care for you, i would not have written all that i did if i did not care, as i did not feel like typing right then, but when people need you, they need you and you need to know that the squeaky wheel gets the oil and you have to keep fighting to get what you want and especially, what you need and are entitled to in this crazy world where most people would just as soon spit on you as say something nice, it's too much at times, but most of the time we deal with it and having a bad spell is just part of life. Please take your hands back down and use them to dial a number or fix yourself a bowl of ice cream or a drink or whatever it is you can have that will help you and make you feel better. You will be in my prayers tonight love and say one for me too, that i get that condo and my ex's mom wakes up enough to buy the place and make a good investment before all her money is spent on her drug addicted using daughter. Love and kisses and prayers, and all meant sincerely and you will get through this time, you are just that type of person, i know you are.