Hello. I am recently married to my boyfriend of 2 years. We've been married since May. I left him a week ago. He started going out in the afternoons and not coming home til 6 or 7 am. I begged and pleaded with him to stop for weeks. He could never provide me with where he had been or who he had been with, so of course I assumed the worse.. either cheating or drugs. He would always come home with booze on his breath and things slowly started more abusive.. mostly emotional put downs at first, then the last night I stayed with him it turned a little more physical... like pinning me down on the bed and so forth.. the next morning I got up and pack up and left, he really didnt say much other then "you dont have to do this". 3 days ago I found out that he is doing coke. He just come out and said it. Not only that but he is on felony probation. I am so terrified that this is going to kill him, and if it doesnt then its going to land him back in jail. I love this man with all of my heart but I feel like there is nothing I can do to help him. I feel like hes on this stuff so hard that he honestly doesnt care if I come back home or not, so I dont have any barging chips to say ".. oh if you dont go to rehab then... " I am at a total loss right now... basically begging for advise and hopefully a solution. Please Help!
Its not your fault he is the way he is it doesnt sound like he wants to get better. You need to just forget him if he is putting is hands on you stay away from him your to good a person to be with a piece of s**t like him. Love is not putting their hands on them someone out there is good enough for you. You sound like a good person that needs a good man in your life not this piece of s**t. If you really love him give him the option of either drugs or you and see what he says then you will know your answer. Only stick by his side if he is willing to change if he's not then pack your bags and stay away dont answer his calls no contact what so ever. Good luck sweet heart i hope all goes well.
I am sorry you are going through this. Please be strong and stick up for yourself. You need to be true to yourself. Men that mentally and physically abuse women don't change. I stayed with my husband (ex now) for 12 yrs. I ended up with 3 beautiful children but that is the only good thing that ever came out of the situation. I never realized how badly staying in that relationship for so long really messed me up. He took all my self confidence and still to this day, (i've been divorced from him for 7, almost 8 yrs now) I still am struggling. He'll never change. I tried many times to leave, I believed him when he said that it would never happen again... it always does. They will try to make you feel like you caused the fight. Please, leave now and don't look back. He'll take so much from you that is soooo hard to get back. The sooner you believe YOU deserve better the easier it will be.
To this day, whenever I go anywhere I still make sure I know where the exits are, I always am checking behind me, etc... Did you have problems before this, or did this just start? There are so many stories I could tell you, nightmares, etc... I will add you as a friend and if you do the same you can talk to me in private if you want. I'm not trying to be mean, I understand you love him, but if he can hurt you like this than how can he love you? Love isn't supposed to cause pain like this. It's just wrong. Don't let yourself be dragged into this relationship, it will get harder and harder each day to leave him and it will never change, only get worse. A lot of people don't survive relationships like this, there are really nice men out there that treat women the way they deserve to be treated. Men that hit and hurt us deserve to be miserable and lonely or swim with the fishes!!! Please becareful and take care of yourself, please.
I am in the same boat as you are sweet heart. Except, my boyfriend lives with me, therefore I can't leave, he has too. He gets violent with me sometimes when he "comes down" from being high on cocaine. He tries and hide it from me. I went through his phone the other day to try and find answers, and all his texts were pertaining to cocaine. (Where to get it, and when to pick it up) I love him with all my heart too, but realized that he isn't reciprocating. He obviously doesn't love me like I love him. This also includes your husband. My advice is to leave him. Maybe if it's not too late, he may realize he is a stupid azz, and that you're more important to him than cocaine. If not, his loss!! I know it's going to hurt. There is no cure for the pain, only time. I am in the middle of dealing with my situation now. Good luck to you. God Bless
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