I do not like taking medication other then my hormone (saves the world ha! ha!) but with the fibro and oa I am just fit to be tied.

My doctors have tried so many meds I feel helpless. The only drug that helped the pain caused a bad reaction that was causing blisters and holes in my skin but as far as pain thought I had found heaven. I have to work and work as a home care provider at least 160 hours a month, clean a house every two weeks and have a mobile hairdressing business which I started because of the home care for seniors and others that are not able to get by on their own.

I try to at least do flex and gentle exercise as well. Keep my house up within reason. Self help books seem to leave a bit of clean clutter and the dust sometimes flickers in the sparks of sun we get but it is not a hoarding night mare or dirty.

About every other weekend and sometimes once a weekend I just crash and hurt so much all I do is cry all day. Their is nothing that takes the pain away except vicodon that my doctors will not give me now. When I had it from a surgery some time ago I was responsible with it. Only took it one day a month so I could have one good day once a month.

I am trying hard to make it to 62 in 4 years. I want to work as much as I can until then plus I have to work as much as I can to survive.

One doctor (so called specialist) says it is the fibro that is acting up and that he thinks I need anti-depression pills. It is my joints that are in more pain then the fibro. Personally I would like to change him into a women with one big knife. I cannot because the law says I can't but I can dream can't I. I do not need anti-depression pills added to the list. What is wrong with our medical profession that wants to hand out anti-depression pills to everyone. I know some people need them and apprecate them but they are not a cure all for everything and can be dangerous with lots of side effects as can any med.

Any suggestions on getting a other half/spouse/family to understand? They all have an answer or negitive response but do not look into anything before make a response. I admit I get touchy because of the pain but if I am willing to admit it why cannot spouses/other half/family/friends try to back off and find a way to create a soothing enviroment. I love relaxation music, a special decaf coffee or tea, books, a calm TV show and rest when I have my worst days. I really prefer to be left alone but fine with a peaceful day with the other half if he can be peaceful (about impossible) or he just does his own thing in the shop or office. Just knowing he is around and doing something positive is such a relaxing feeling.

Help I need some hope and ideas. I have grand children that I would love to spend more time with as well as my kids and multiple friends.