I have been reading some of Robert_325's posts and he seems really knowledgeable and I'm hoping he will reply. Of course, I am dying to hear from ANYONE and EVERYONE. I am pretty much alone in this in that my 11 year long NA friends are taking a tough love approach with me.
I had 11 years of sobriety, got on the Norco roller coaster as prescribed for a year then started abusing (probably no more than 8 10/325's a day). Also started taking Soma and began abusing those almost immediately.
Long story short... Mother and Father died sveral months apart, wife relapsed on Heroin, became single Father overnight and had parent's house foreclosed on. During my wife's relapse, I used for 1 week. That's when the Suboxone started. I think my dose was overkill now.
WIth the stress of watching both parents pass away, I was prescribed Xanax and Ativan. At one time my dose was 6 mg Xanax and 4 mg Ativan per day (that was the actual Rx... swear to God). I am now down to 3-4 mg Xanax per day and was tapering 10% each week with the help of my Sub doc who is a believer in the Ashton Method (I can explain about that, but I'm sure enough people know what it is).
Here is my dilemma. I was abusing the Soma, have flushed it and told my GP I didn't want it any more. I have been Soma free for about a month... don't even miss it because of what it caused... 2 DUI's within a 2 month period.
I am someone with a degree in chemical dependency studies and was working as a counselor/case manager and was pre-med in my Senior year when my parents got ill. Not stupid but very dumb.
I need to get off the Sub and the Xanax (the only two left) as quickly as possible or I am likely going to be faced with detoxing in jail. I don't have long. I thought the jail would continue my current RX's since I am not abusing them.
I am very desperate, scared, ashamed, anxiety-ridden and feel like I have ruined my whole life. This after solid recovery for 11 years. I am beyond scared to death of detoxing in jail and need to get a handle on that 25% every 4 days thing and get some realistic advice (not horror stories) about getting off the Xanax (Yes, I am aware of seizure risk), but how fast can I really taper the relatively low dose I am on (compared to where I was).
I feel hopeless and even amost suicidal at times. Please answer, I need all the moral support I can get. Tapering schedules, anything. I have nowhere or no one to go to this with and am very lonely (except for my beautiful 2 year old daughter of course who I feel I've let down the most.)
I look forward to your responses.